VN12 - Back to the HCMC

Apparently part of authentic Vietnamese living is sleeping with the lights on. I don't get it, but I couldn't find the switch, so I crawled into bed next to grandpa who was asleep, but still listening to traditional Vietnamese music at max volume. I remember Lou walking into the room to pee, laughing at me, and leaving me to deal. Luckily exhaustion took me down despite the circumstances, though it wasn't a very deep sleep with all 5 of us in the same room.

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We checked out early, and drove through the rain to the airport, stopping for food (More pho or rice, the only meals we eat) on the way.  The airport was small, only two gates, and the flight was empty. I jumped to a window-seat but it was still mostly clouds. I think I slept half of it... but who knows anymore.

75m later and we were back in Saigon, following Lou as she ran across the entire airport. Apparently this lot is the best to catch a cab in, as if we hadn't passed dozen on the forced-march. Returning to HCMC after being away for a week, two things stand out to me; 1) It is so hot here.  2) Traffic is incredibly bad, especially in a car. A scooter can slip through the cracks and find creative routes... a car is.... stuck in traffic. 

A lot of traffic later, we arrived back at the apartment. It's laundry time! Which is good, because I'm on my last clean shirt and I run out of underwear tomorrow. I was reading while waiting for the laundry, and suddenly woke up 4 hours later. Apparently a laundry machine three feet from your futon is the secret to great sleep, because that was incredible. Refreshed, I started catching up on blogs, until

Cops stealing chairs

Lou slammed the sheet metal door open, screaming "WAKE UP". Apparently grandma is rubbing off on her. Apparently it's time to quit blogging and have dinner in Mom's room across the hall. Rice and octopus, good enough. Then it was back to scooter-taxis and we plunged back into the traffic, heading down-town. Lou was meeting with one of her childhood friends, to catch up and deliver a battery charger I'd begged off my reliability engineer at work.  I reverted to my pantomime conversation skills -  looking, following expressions, and faking it with the best of them. We had smoothies and sat on stools on the sidewalk... until the waiters rushed out and snagged every single stool on the block. Apparently someone had spotted police on their way! Two cops arrived shortly after on scooters, confiscated some stools from the vendor across the street, and then headed out. Before they were even off the block, our stools started reappearing.

But after a smoothie, Lou's friends had to head out to get back home, outside the city. Lou had other plans, she wanted to go to the red-light district to see the "Sexy Girrrrrrrls".

The red-light district (pink-light district?) is wild. It's a warren the size of an entire block, dotted with massage parlors and tiny bars, each of which has a 6-12 girls outside, most wearing skimpy outfits and looking bored - though that may be because I was with Lou.  The few times Lou was walking behind me and out-of-sight there was a lot of "hello sir" and girls intentionally bumping into me, only to giggle embarrassedly when they Lou emerged from the crowd.

I wasn't into this idea to begin with, but I've learned I don't have a choice. After a lot of "Do you think we should go to a bar?" "You should pick a girl!" "Do you want a drink?" I understood my role here. I don't understand why, but I understand what I have to do. I picked a bar at random (since they all appeared to be essentially identical) and we went in, followed by a few sexy girrrrrls. It was incredibly awkward, we picked drinks, and then had to pick girls. I went with a lager and a Dichen-Lachmen lookalike, Lou went for a vodka-coke (believe it or not, there aren't many fruity mixed drinks at these sorts of establishments) and an 18y/o (lol).

I finally got Lou talking to her girl, and then taught her to play dice (liar's poker). Of course, after a drink, then you have to buy your girl a drink, and etc etc. It was fun, and didn't cost anymore than drinking in America. And unlike Da Nang, they didn't water down their liquor. Dichen was absolutely trying to get me inebriated. We were trying to avoid getting regretfully drunk, so we said our goodbyes after three and headed out. Lou wasn't ready to go home though, so we walked over to the club-street from one of our first nights. 

Still terrible

The contrast was marked. Loud, far fewer sexy girrrrrrls, and an overwhelming crowd. This was quickly enough to convince both of us it was time to head back home. After a quick scoot home (in far less traffic) I drank several bottles of water, and then turned the lights off to go to bed. And then grandma turned the lights on. Because that's apparently how we sleep here.