VN10 - Headed North

Like always, we woke up too early for breakfast. Even thought we all know they'll have an extra 4 courses compared to my single plate, it's important we all go to breakfast together. I think part of this is upbringing... They eat like people who have known true hunger. Indulge at buffets, a single plate when you have to pay for it, and never skipping a meal. 

That meal survived, we went to visit tombs. Each king has an entire burial complex, designed while they were alive, even though most kings are buried elsewhere. A giant tomb is a beacon for graverobbers, so instead most were buried away from their tombs, in unmarked graves, and with such secrecy the gravediggers were often executed to assure their silence.  This king [Khai Dinh] was different, however, and instead designed his entire tomb complex so that it would collapse on anyone foolish enough to attempt a robbery. As you may be able to guess by the fascinating level of detail, our guide was back with us today!

The complex itself was on the side of a hill, because of feng-shui. And so they could build hundreds of stairs, they love stairs. The first tomb built with French materials and techniques (meaning a lot of concrete, mostly), it featured Buddhist, Indian, and Christian motifs in an attempt to bring unity to the country.  The interior was far more impressive than the exterior, extensive mosaics covering nearly every surface except for the ceiling. The ceiling full of dragons was painted by a master, who insisted on holding the brush with his feet. He claimed he needed the additional eye-relief to get the perspective right, and this flex impressed the king so much he won the job. A few quick passes with the drone (Nothing amazing, I still need practice) and we wrapped it up and headed back down all those stairs.

Our second stop was another instagram-trap, the incense store! Really, the incense district, because they have instagram trapping down to a science. That way they can capture entire busloads of Asians at once. We tried our hand at traditional incense rolling, Lou got pictures in the stacks of colored sticks (the core of rolled incense), and I got distracted with the cat sitting in the instatrap. If all instatraps featured cats I'd be an absolute fan.  I bought some lemongrass incense as highly inflated prices....  but it's hard to be angry about $4. Plus they had a cute cat.

Right next to the incense district was another tomb complex, this time for the 4th king [Tự Đức]. He had to design the entire complex himself - typically one's children design the tomb, but a youthful bout of smallpox left him sterile.  He even wrote his own epitaph, which I would link except all the translations are paywalled.  This complex was much larger but less ornate, and featured a manmade lake at the center surrounded by tombs, temples, gazebos, and obelisks.   It was also filled with schoolchildren, apparently one of the highschools from northern Vietnam had a field-trip that day... and these highschoolers couldn't stop staring at me. Apparently I look a lot like another traveler (tall white dude with long hair) who recently went viral for jumping on the back of a celebratory soccer-scooter and getting totally lost. Yeah. Fair.

Lou wanted some drone-shots here too... but right as we were about to take off, security told us it wasn't allowed. So we did what we had to. Packed it up, walked across the grounds to the far corner, and took off there! Despite being somewhat under the canopy I got it out and up pretty easily, grabbed some drone shots from a discrete altitude, and then swung it back in, tucking under the branches and landing right in front of the gate. (I'm getting better! Drones are so fun - especially in more-relaxed countries).

The last event at the tomb was another instatrap, this time down on the lake, as Lou got probably 100 photos from our tour-guide (who we should remember, only studied for her guide-certification so she didn't have to pay to do photoshoots for tourists. It all makes sense now). This was, obviously, quite boring until Lou said she needed more fish, so I grabbed one of the emergency granola bars (which has gone weeks untouched, since they stuff me with food any chance they get), and started throwing crumbs luring fish to fill out the background. Any excuse to throw food at fish, especially gorgeous koi. 

From there we hit a local market, much the same as the previous, where we stopped at a desert stall. There were 16? different pots and bowls of various semiliquids, from stewed fruits to tapioca, puddings, and syrups in all different colors... You would yell at the woman behind the counter, and she would ladle these concoctions into a glass (if you were seated on her steel bench) or a plastic bag (to go), mixing half a dozen flavors into one delicious goo.  Hard pass. Not a single one looked appetizing, let alone an admixturation of mushy diabetes. Thankfully, lunch wasn't in the market, but at a restaurant down the street. Fish, rice, peppers, pork... real food, and nobody yelled at us.

After lunch we swung by the hotel to pick up our bags, and headed back over to the fort, where our tourguide showed us the gatehouse on the 50,000vnd bill! We got back into the car, and I made a joke asking which bill we would visit next, but our tourguide was gone, vanished where we found her, and we were on our own (with the driver, who asked me to let you know is excellent and affordable. If you're going to be in Da Nang look him up.) 

From here we headed north. Far north. How far? I'm not sure, I was just told "long drive" so I made sure to pee beforehand. Thankfully, we broke it up with a few stops. The first was Our Lady of Da Vang - standard apparition of Mary, let's built a church story. They're currently in the process of tearing down that church and building a megachurch, full on cathedral size, but in an interesting mix of eastern and Christian design language. This megachurch is very much still under construction, but you can walk right in... so we did.  And there was a sketchy stairwell with no railings headed up! If you drop me in a construction site I'm going to try to roof it.... unfortunately there was a locked door for the upper maintenance passages, and fortunately I didn't have my picks on me.

We walked the rest of the campus, mass was in session in one of the side buildings (it was novel to hear the familiar Latin intonation and cadence in an entirely different language), saw the remnants of the prior church,  and an industrial-scale holy-water setup. But all in all not much happening and a pretty quick stop.

Worth noting: Almost no English was spoken on any of these drives, so I was left alone with my thoughts for far too long. This leg I was thinking about rice paddies, which were everywhere, trying to figure out the lifecycle.

1) Drain the paddy
2) Level the mud
3) Sow rice that has been soaked in water to start germination
4) Wait 20 days for growth
5a) Flood the paddy to 1-2" of water - or-
5b) Transplant the rice to a larger flooded paddy
6) Wait 3 months
7) Harvest
8) Repeat 

Even further north, we saw a memorial to the fallen in the war with the French. Best guess is they had large battle attempting a river-crossing nearby? Basically a park, even more boring, and an even quicker stop.

I apparently fell asleep, because I woke as we pulled off the side of the highway at the 17th parallel, the river where the north-south divide was officially set. Statues and flags on both sides (especially the North, since... well.... you know.) We walked out the somewhat-rickety historic bridge to the line and started hearing a voice on the loudspeaker. I thought it was classic propaganda being played for historic effect, but then the dude coughed during a long pause. Turns out it was a security guard telling us we weren't allowed to take pictures on the bridge without paying for a ticket to the museum first. Didn't stop me, since I don't speak Vietnamese and learned all this hours later, but we headed back to the car and continued down the highway. 

An empty tank (14 km remaining!) mandated the next stop at a trucker waypoint, and then we headed out into the wastelands. Miles and miles of sand dunes, scrub pines, and windmills peaking through the mists. The sun set on this dystopia as we continued north, to dinner. We only got a little lost - our planned diner (where our driver met his ex!) was closed, but after winding through some slums neighborhoods we found cheap food and headed north on the final leg.

Around 8pm, we drove past some massive glowing letters floating high in the darkness, and entered a town where they had advertisements in English. After being able to read nothing all day, the stark transition struck hard. And then - even more jarring - white people everywhere.  We had arrived in what is clearly a backpacker town, and our destination was a fancy hostel. Checking in, I learned we have a single room, for all five of us - driver included. I thought we were done with one-room living, but here we are. Thankfully a bit larger than the HCMC apartment, but only three beds, so apparently I'm sleeping with grandpa. Small mercies: The driver showed grandpa how to work the volume buttons on his phone, so tiktok is only half volume tonight. But so much closer.