Diamond Lil - B24 Liberator

In the before-times, we booked a flight on a B24 Liberator for Father's Day.  My dad is a history buff and has been reading stories from ww2 throughout my life, and here was an increasingly-rare chance to experience what those men (boys) experienced, to a degree. However, maintenance requirements cancelled the flight. So we booked on a B29 instead! And then covid cancelled that flight. Fast forward a few years, and flights have resumed, maintenance is completed, and my dad informs us he's buying tickets!

So Sunday morning we woke up early and headed out to Hagerstown to finally ride a piece of history. We arrived around 8:30 and checked in, only to be told that - due to the weather (chance of rain, low ceiling), the flight would definitely be delayed, and might be cancelled altogether. Saturday's flights had already been cancelled and pushed to Monday, but it looked like the weather would continue to clear up.

So we wandered around the museum. Hagerstown actually has a great aviation museum, featuring a plane from the 1919, military trainers, and various other exhibits  - all in a hanger built by Fairchild during ww2 (entirely out of wood, impressively) to house the pt-19 trainers and c-82 "Packet" cargo planes they were manufacturing to support the war effort.  They have a lot of weird aircraft, including a SM-73, which was an experimental cruise-missile decoy - part of a project that was ultimately cancelled but provided a fascinating distraction while we waited for the pilot to make the call.

Ultimately, things were looking good! We got the safety briefing, which alternated between comically mundane "You must follow all requests of flight attendants, no smoking onboard" and the bizarre "Don't step on the tunnel hatch. The latch isn't reliable and there's a small chance you could fall to your death."  Then they assigned us starting-seats based on the groups we arrived with and the weight of those groups. Ethan and I, being skinny, ended up in the Radio Operators seats. We didn't know it at the time, but these were the best seats in the house outside the cockpit. We then toured the outside of the plane and got some history lessons. 

Finally, after a few hours, we got the go signal! We made our way out the plane, loaded up, and strapped in. The engines coughed to life, one-by-one, and FiFi (the b29 next to us) loaded up and headed out to the runway. We followed and went down a parallel runway, and got to see FiFi take off as we rolled past.  At the end of the runway, we did a lot of tests. Engine spin-up tests, brake tests, aileron and flap tests - and the assistant flight engineer in the back of plane with us was on the radio relaying confirmations of each step up to the pilots. 

Then, it was time for takeoff. We roared down the runway, thankful for our earplugs and the breeze that immediately cooled off the cabin (especially up top in the radio seats), and lifted off at what felt like an absurdly steep angle. Looking out the rear tailgunner, all we could see was the runway.  The stepper crawled onto the staircase to make sure the landing gear retracted, and then set about moving the waist gun into position.  I could definitely see why the ww2 pilot said "it flew like a dumptruck with wings" - it wasn't the smooth flight you expect on an airliner, it was a jostly flight where the plane would suddenly move a foot in any direction, at any time - there was the threat that airsickness was a real possibility. None was present, but I was aware that if I tried to read a book (not that I would) it would be a terrible choice. 

And then, maybe 90 seconds after we left the ground, we got the hand signal for "unbuckle". I climbed down to the mid-seats as we began our rotations, and then moved to the waist gunner position next.  It took a lot of effort to point that beast as it stuck out into the 200mph air blasting past the craft, definitely a full-body movement method of aiming, where your legs and core do even more work than your arms.  I determined I could hit a large barn, but had no chance hitting a car besides pure luck. I also would have totally shot the wing or the tail - which is true to form, as plenty of b24s came back with self-inflicted wounds as the gunners tried to take out an attacking fighter. Far more difficult of a role than I thought, and nobody was even shooting back.

Next up was the tail gunner. I climbed over the tunnel-window (Making sure not to step on the latch and take an unscheduled skydive), and kneeled in the tail. This was a great seat, with a panoramic view of the world passing by. And all wide open, if you squirmed past the gun you would easily fit out the window with no glass to stop you. 

After that I went down to the bomb-bay. Luckily, half the racks had been removed (well, all of the racks had been removed after a training accident and a life as a trainer / executive transport, but half the racks had been returned!) which meant there was a fair bit of room. However, there wasn't much to do in the bomb bay. The windows were small, the room cramped, and I was very grateful that we got bumped to the radio seats for takeoff. So I chilled out, inspected the bombs, dangled a hand out the window. After a few minutes I rotated up to the cockpit. Just an overwhelming number of dials and switches, and a comically modern GPS unit stuck to the windshield. They even had a roof hatch which they left open, the ultimate skylight. 

Back in the bomb-bay Ethan and I checked out the bombardier seat. To get there when in flight you have to squirm over the landing gear - without touching the cowling which was spring-loaded and would be happy to let your through. We agreed we would totally do it, but that was unfortunately (and understandably) not part of the tour. On his suggestion we headed back to the radio seats for a more comfortable view and a better ride. As the rotations wrapped up we took an extra rotation and looked down the tunnel gun. Basically just a window in the floor that would have a 50 sticking through it. I couldn't imagine trying to track an enemy plane while it dodged and we bounced, all while the ground flew by underneath. I guess it'd be easier at altitude, but still. 

Our seatmate was a ww2 veteran, and his brother-in-law was actually KIA in a b24 in the war. Amazingly, he was just as spry as the middle-aged men, but his presence underscored the fact that in the war, a bunch of 18 year olds were climbing around this plane with it's lack of handholds, lack of insulation, lack of any comforts - in frigid conditions, surrounded by flack explosions, while being shot at, for up to 14 hours at a time. I took my earplugs out and while not painfully loud, it was super obnoxious and still impossible to talk anyways.




We took some impressively hard banks, the engineer crawled down the stairs to make sure the wheels were out, and we landed pretty uneventfully.  As we taxi'd back to the hangar probably a hundred people took pictures of us, it was like being a stormtrooper turned up 500%.  Once parked, we waited for the props to spin down before opening the flimsy door (the one with a half-inch gap when closed properly) and made our way onto the ground, grinning ear to ear.

And if you'd like to see more, Ethan recorded our flight!

Tail of the Dragon

The guys in my local motorcycle club have held an annual trip down to the Tail of the Dragon - a famous driving road on the border between Tennessee and North Carolina in the Smokey Mountains - for the last 16 years. I've been riding with them for a few years, and they extended an invitation to me to come along about a month before the trip. I was undecided, busy, and suddenly the trip left the next weekend. I decided to go along, knowing almost nothing about the trip.  However, I have lately been attempting to "Seek Discomfort" for growth and a more fulfilling life, and living a week with a few guys I knew and a bunch of strangers is exactly that.

Sunday:
I loaded my bike, a friend's project bike, and several sets of motorcycle armor in my Sprinter and headed 10 hours south. Around the time I got off the (gorgeous) highways in North Carolina I found a truck with MD plates and motorcycles in it, and followed it through the backroads into a compound in the middle of nowhere. Pulling in at the bottom I was relieved to find that I did know the driver of the truck ahead of me! He showed me around the abandoned compound, and as we explored and unloaded the rest of the crew showed up. We unwound, had a few drinks, and I was informed any bed I could find was mine. So I wandered in, found a random bed, and crashed.

Monday:

On Monday the plan was to head out across the skyway for lunch, and then hang out in the river. My backroad motorcycling skills were a little rusty, but one of the guys offered to lead me in his rally car. I was hesitant because I knew I was slower than him and didn't want to ruin his fun, but he was gracious, and, you know, seek discomfort. We headed out, and a couple miles in he reached out his window and started giving me signals I recognized from trackdays. Surprise coaching session! We blasted through the back roads, him setting a pace he knew I could handle but outside of my comfort zone, and I mostly kept up. Occasionally he'd pull into a scenic overlook and offer some tips (Rotate the shoulders more, look further through the curve, etc). It was a great way to shake off the cobwebs and get back into the mindset, and I thanked him profusely for the help.

Lunch was fun, I stayed at the restaurant to use the wifi for a work meeting, and then headed out to join the others at "Dirt Beach" - named for a friend who threw his bike into the woods at this turn on a previous trip. We hung out, skipped rocks in the river, and had a nice relaxing time. Afterwards, I headed up the road to see the waterfall, and then met up with two of the guys to run the "360 Loop" - named for rt 360 - which would explore some more backroads and then join up to the Tail.

A nice fun backroad, a bit of highway, and then around 6pm we got to the Tail right as the clouds started rolling in.  I was apprehensive, having read about the road, the wrecks, and worrying about holding up the boys. But embrace discomfort, etc etc. Lets do this.  We did the first few miles up to the overlook, and it was hard work. Very twisty road, full of surprising turns, and had random damp spots just to ratchet up the difficulty even more. At the overlook we looked at the darkening sky, I got a few tips on navigating the tail, and agreed to meet them at the bottom - so that they would have a chance to get off the mountain before the rain hit. I did the next 8 miles of tail as it got darker and wetter, and to be honest, enjoying very little of it. As I got to the bottom, it started pouring, and we road the rest of the way home in the wet, on thankfully-straighter roads.

Tuesday:

I had to work again in the morning, and then headed out to the tail to give it another shot. Now that it was sunny, dry, I knew what I getting into, and had developed a few tricks (lower gears are your friend) it was much better. I traded lead back and forth with the fastest Harley I saw the whole trip, noting his line and entry speeds, and we rode together up to the overlook, where I caught my breath and uncramped my arms, before heading back down the mountain. Going even faster this time, I finally saw the appeal of this mountain. It was so much fun! And almost everyone has excellent lane discipline and most drivers and riders will pull over so that faster traffic can fly by.  I had a late lunch with some of the motobros at the restaurant at the bottom, and then we headed back up the mountain. Ted had his wife riding pillion, so they put me in the lead. It turns out that when I go as fast as I comfortably can - that's about exactly how fast Ted's wife lets him go when she has dramamine. Those trackday junkies can boogie. Luckily I've long since accepted I'd be the slowest guy on the trip so instead of any embarrassment it was just a fun ride with friends.

Ben's shot of the nightly debauchery

I was feeling worn out, thighs and shoulders sore, with one pinky going numb from pushing the bars too hard in thin gloves, so I headed back to the cabin for dinner. Still sent it, of course. Every night we had volunteers who cooked for the group, and in return we all paid for the groceries. It was great. Burgers, barbecue, korean barbecue, so much great food.  After dinner we all hung out in the garage, had some beers, and I witnessed the best conversation of the week when one of the guys got back in from a side-trip to buy a trailer.

Dave: "There are so many pigs on the skyway tonight. Be careful up there"

Ben: "Did you get pulled over?"
Dave: "No, there were a dozen pigs on the road"

Ben: "Was there an accident? Why that many cops?"
Dave: "Not cops, pigs"
Ben: "Yeah man, Fxxx the police"

Other drunks: "FXXX THE POLICE!"
Dave: "PIGS! Oink oink! PIGS!"

Other drunks: "PIGS!"

Ben: "FXXX THE POLICE!"
Dave: "HOGS!" <-it was at this point I figured out what was happening
Ben: "Motocops?"  
Dave: "FARM ANIMALS. CURLY TAILS. WILD PIGS"

Everyone: "Ohhhhhhhh"

Ben: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Pigs."

Wednesday: 
Now that I had enjoyed the dragon, I had one other task for the week: trick the photographers on the mountain into taking my picture for me, and posting it onto the internet for free. There are two ways to do this: 1) crash in front of them. 2) Stormtrooper.  So I armored up, and hit the tail fully stormtroopered out. It was fun, and a good excuse to dial it back a few percent and enjoy the ride rather than being in full attack mode, and everyone loved it.  Took several selfies with Harley riders (mostly for their grandchildren), and then dropped my bike. Right at the top, right in front of everyone. At 0pmh, failing to walk out of a parking spot. Luckily it didn't hurt anything but my pride, and I mostly see the funny side of it.

I headed back to the house, changed into cooler gear (I was sweating buckets as a stormtrooper), and went out to hit the tail on my way to Foothills Parkway for a solo ride. Foothills parkway is gorgeous. Amazing views, amazing pavement, impressive bridges on the side of the mountain, beautiful sweeping curves, and everyone is happy to let you pass and will usually signal you to do so as soon as it's safe. I came around one corner onto a straightaway and saw a sculpture of a bear. Who would put a bear sculpture in the weeds on the side of the road in the middle of a park? And are those mini sculptures behind it? Oh. Those are real black bears! A momma and two cubs, just chilling 20' off the road at the edge of the forest. Anyways, this is my favorite road in the area, and if you ever head down you should definitely hit it.

Thursday: 

I had to work half a day on Thursday, and the plan for the afternoon was to go boating! But all the boats were sold out. So we left to go tubing, I jumped in the back of a car and enjoyed a spirited convoy across the skyway. And the tubing place was closed. Schedules aren't a hard thing in the mountains, apparently. So we went to the gas station, grabbed some beers, and went back to Dirt beach.  Another rock skipping competition, some floating around the river, it was a great day, regardless of the plans. It was also nice to have an easy day, let the muscles recover, and just relax.  I did head up the skyway after dinner to watch the sunset though, which was beautiful. 

Linda's shot of the group

Friday:

Friday morning it was raining, so we went to a local meadery to check them out, feed weeds to their goats, and sample some meads. As we did so the roads politely dried up for us, so afterwards we headed up to the tail to hang out at the overlook with the crew. We posted up on the hill and chatted, watched the cars and bikes go by, etc etc. and then headed down the mountain toward the swimming hole. At the bottom I passed someone in an attempt to guide them into the pulloff to let the full parade they had accumulated pass their 10mph crawl... but they just got angry instead, so I got on the throttle and put some distance between us.  This lead me onto the portion of the road referred to as - I later learned - radar straights.  I think you see where this is going. I waved to the cop expecting a "come hither" but he ignored me, and I continued on my way. I passed the swimming hole using sign language to communicate the predicament to my friends, who encouraged me to continue on my way so that they didn't have to explain the contents of their cooler to Tennessee Highway Patrol.  Anyways, the officer pulled me over as I turned onto the parkway. He had me clocked at 62 in a 50, offered me a "place to stay for the night" which confused me momentarily, and I assured him I had accommodations. Then he lectured me for a while, and left to run the paperwork. I was wondering if I would get away with a warning, but he returned with a ticket for 90 in a 50, because "I know you've done more than 62 today". I was shocked and furious, but I bit my tongue, signed the "I do not agree but received this document" line, and proceeded on a very slow ride down the parkway.  [Post script: One of the motobros ((actually a motolady)) is a lawyer, who is friends with more lawyers, one of whom got the entire ticket thrown out pro-bono!]

Smiling would only have made him more angry...

When I returned to the swimming hole, they asked what happened. I told them "90 in a 50" and jumped off a bridge. (The swimming hole had a 15 foot bridge! High enough to be scary, high enough to leave a welt, but not high enough to be actually dangerous). I had a beer, told the story, and took a couple more jumps. It was scarier than I anticipated, and I'm glad I didn't think about it when I stepped to the edge the first time. But you know. Embrace discomfort. Push your boundaries. Live an interesting life. 

Photo by Linda. Thanks!

After we finished up, I headed up the mountain, pulled over to film the rest of the crew pass by, and cruised back to the house for food and drinks.

Saturday: 

I was in no mood to visit Tennessee today, especially on the day known for being crowded with tourists and police, so I took a cruise on the skyway instead in the morning. Really, the skyway is better suited for a sportbike than the Tail, and it was relaxing to have some spirited riding safely in North Carolina.

The afternoon's plan was dirtbikes. I spent a few hours helping the dirtbike guys switch out their street tires for knobby dirt tires, and then we headed out to the forest roads. I was honest with them: "I'm gonna try to follow, but I'll probably wise up and head back, so don't wait for me".   I could follow their dirt clouds for a while, but between the differences in tires and my newness at gravel I didn't have a chance. I had to learn as I went, getting used to the bike squirming around under me, trusting the bike to bounce over gullies and not jackknife into them. Once I accepted that I was going to throw the bike in the gravel at 25mph, and that that's ok, it was much easier. The dirt was fine, the hardpack fun, but the gravel made me work for it.  I missed whatever turnoff the boys had made, and rode ten long miles through to the other end.  I took a rest, shook out my arms, and decided, why not? And headed back, passing a "Road not suitable for passenger cars" warning sign. And thinking about it, I saw only trucks, a few adventure bikes, and some dirt bikes. Now that I was getting comfortable in the gravel, I realized how beautiful the woods were, as I paralleled a river through an old-growth forest. It was a blast. Stupid, but fun. And despite a few moments where I thought it was over, I never threw the bike in the gravel.

Back at the house I started loading the van and waited for the dirtbikes to return from their adventures. For dinner we packed up all our leftovers and headed back up the skyway to watch the sunset. It was a perfect conclusion to a great trip, perfectly discomfortable.

Oregon!

 After Battlebots, I flew up to Eugene while I was on the west coast. The plan was to visit an old friend from my Urban Exploring days, and basically just chill and recover from the stress that is two weeks of full-send comprising battlebots.  Don't get me wrong, I love BB, and seeing just how far you can push yourself and your team is illuminating and tons of fun. But the 16+ hour days leave you weary down to your bones, and (co)managing a team through the gauntlet left me a bit neurotic.

I flew into Eugene, a small airport in a small city, and after Mel picked me up from the airport we promptly left civilization. Small highways turned into empty backroads, which quickly became gravel roads when we hit the mountains. Definitely a change from LA.  Much of my time was spent reading, helping out around the house (splitting wood for the stove, gardening, playing with the dogs), and just generally relaxing,  so instead of a traditional day-by-day I'm going to cherry-pick a few random episodes for the blog.

I knew exactly why Mel pulled over after blowing past this random ditch.

Animals!

Coyotes, elk, banana slugs (gross and plentiful), hawks, deer, a lot of mountain lion poop, opossums, raccoons, rabbits, varying levels of suicidal grouse, chipmunks, and quail; and possibly a wolf.  We were looking across the valley at the cows and elk grazing in the field, and saw something weird and fast in with the cows. It was grey, thin, and about half the height of the cows. As we watched, the cows noticed it. And they were not happy. There was aggressive mooing and they slow plodded straight towards it until the grey blur headed into the woods on the far side of the valley.   I'm calling it my first wild wolf sighting and taking full points, feel free to disagree in the comments where I'll ignore you and continue congratulating myself.  Update: Mel informs me were 100 miles from a known wild pack, and juvenile males will travel up to 600 miles, so very possible.

Great picture of a hideous animal

Hideous picture of a great animal

Stars: 

There were so many stars. Compared to LA or even Baltimore you'd think we were on a different planet. Even the darkest days in my hometown couldn't hold a candle to Oregon. The only other time I'd seen so many stars was when protests in Peru closed the roads and stranded my bus in the mountains.  The milky way had branching arms, entire regions of space where stars ceased to be points and became regions.  We were blessed with no moon and a super-bright Jupiter, Saturn, and Mars as well.   One evening we drove to the ridge of the opposing mountain and shot some long-exposures... I need to practice my astrophotography, because while I captured a few good images, they still paled in comparison to the beauty the sky had in real life.   On the way back, a young 'yote jumped out of the bushes in front of the car.  And instead of darting back into the bushes, he panicked and started running down the road. We followed for quarter mile through a number of switchbacks before he finally realized he wasn't going to outrun us and veered into the brush.

On the flip side, this also meant it got seriously dark. Even after spending an hour watching stars, meteors, and satellites from a nearby cemetery and letting our eyes fully adjust, we still could barely make it home without lights. I found I could make out the lines on the pavement until I got back to the property, and then follow the light-colored cat as it wove around the plants and assorted obstacles up to the porch.

An incredible number of stars and galaxies. 

Beach:

It seemed a shame to spend a fortnight on the coast and only see the ocean out the window of an airplane, so on my last day we headed over to Coo's Bay to see the ocean. Our first stop was Coo's Head, where we spotted a tunnel in the cliffs. The high tide (18' above low) meant we couldn't follow the coastline, so we tried a few gravel roads and sketchy trails until we could walk it.  It was... weird. Definitely not natural, but we couldn't see any reason for anyone to excavate it.  Turns out, it was an ammunition bunker for a now-closed airforce outpost during WW2! Very neat. Also followed a vanishing trail to what I believe is a cliff-diving spot, but without depth-checking first there was no way I was going to try it. Even with depth-checking, I don't have 60' of bravery.

Our second stop was Coquille River lighthouse. We picked a random state park on our drive back, drove to the very end of it, and stumbled upon an adorable lighthouse! Unfortunately it was closed up for the season, but we wandered around it and then hiked down the jetty buffeted by wind and spray. Afterwards we wandered down the beach for a bit we headed back home.

Waterfalls:

There are waterfalls everywhere. Any one of these would be a state park in Maryland and draw people from all over, but here they were a widespot in the road and an unmarked trail through the blackberries. Still gorgeous though, even though it was dry season. Apparently in the rainy season we'd be drowned for standing where we stood.   And in addition to the waterfalls, there were mushrooms. Basically anytime we were in the woods (which was most the time), we were searching for mushrooms. I learned the common edible varieties and their poisonous lookalikes, and Mel had a sixth sense for them. At one point we were bombing down a dirt road when she slammed on the brakes. I thought she'd seen a bear, but she reversed 100yards back up the mountain, pulled over, and headed into the woods. There was a cluster of Forest Chicken that was promptly harvested.

General:

The main industry in Oregon is logging. There are forests everywhere in various states of logging, replanting, regrowth... it's a staggering amount of wood being moved. And often a clearcut would give you a look at the geology underneath the forest, or a great view out into the valley.  Also, on a more general note, everything ran on forest time... which is like island time, only more so. Nobody was ever in a rush, and it was understood everything would take a while. Really a great change of pace from LA.  So am I going to drop out of the rat race and peace out to the mountains? It's tempting, but not for me.

 

At least not yet.

Hunting Neowise

Trip 1: Drove north, hit like 5 church parking-lots, saw nothing.

Trip 2:

How I saw the comet: 

Drive to an empty parking lot out in the middle of nowhere. Wait for sunset. Begin scanning the north-west sky. Practice focusing your binoculars on things. Get bit by mosquitos. Set up the telescope, scan more things. Give up, wait for stars to come out, get bit more. Scan everything. Read 4 articles on "how to spot the comet". Scan more.  Finally clearly see the big dipper, get the telescope focused. Begin a grid-search of the sky beneath the big dipper. Kill the batteries in your telescope. Start manually pushing the scope around. Get bit on the %@&ing ear. Discover a very fuzzy star next to two  clear stars. And it's more fuzzy "upwards" than in the other directions! I win!

How to actually see the comet:

Go out at 10pm. Let your eyes adjust a few minutes. Find the big dipper. The big dipper should be about one dipper-length away from the horizon,  2/3rds of a dipper down you'll see a weird blur. You win!

Trip 3:

After sharing my first attempt on facebook, two of my BB friends took pity on me and gave me a crash-course on astrophotography and photostacking. The comet was far dimmer, but I stacked 20x2s exposures and the photo came out far better. Plus, pandemic. What else am I gonna do?

China - 2019

We spent 4 days in China, a new supplier this time but still in Huizhou where I've been on most of my visits.  Before we get to the travel-blog section, I have a few random quotes from my notes about the food: 

"Today I ate loofah. Yeah, like the shower thing. Apparently if you harvest them before they become desiccated and stringy you can have a tender zucchini-like vegetable. Slimy, but unobjectionable."

"Anne explained the rules about eating dog on our walk tonight. A stray dog 'belongs' to everyone, therefor anyone is allowed to eat it. However, since it belongs to everyone, whoever cooks the dog has to share with anyone who asks. Even if the dog does belong to someone, if it bites you you are allowed to eat it. I love that, sort of a karmic justice to it..."

"There was a fad around 60 years ago of injecting chicken-blood. It was said to get you "High" - which in Chinese means stronger, more aggressive, motivated to dive into tasks or fights..."

"I'd never had Foi Gras before, but if there is a food so good it's worth torturing animals over I'm definitely going to try it. The taste was unobjectionable, but the texture was, as expected, quite gross."

"The shrimp, prawns, and oysters were great, and then we had cervical vertebrae from chickens. As you would imagine, there isn't much to a vertebra, meaning that they had to kill at least 10 chickens to fill the skewers they brought to the table. I don't recommend it. They roast them long enough to soften them, but you're still just crunching through cartilage and bones while pretending to like it."

Our last day in china was (finally) not at a factory!

I have no idea who she is, but her photo turned out great!

We woke up early to have breakfast with Anne before her flight, and then our hosts picked us up for a trip to the mountains. It was brutally hot - I tried to buy a fan, but they only accepted WeChat (Chinese messenger app) payments... Luckily our hosts were quick to jump in and cover the costs. I was the only man with a fan there, but if there's one thing I've learned from the Chinese it's a lack of shame in social situations. They are much less inhibited... the girls are (adorably) happy to wear overalls, flounce their skirts, skip, or hold hands with one another.  The men are loud, quick to joke, and not shy to lift their shirts in the heat, regardless of the size of their stomach. So I fanned myself with impunity and told myself all the kids were staring at me because I was the only white person on the mountain, not because of my fan.

Instead of hiking up the mountain, we took a cable car! Not actually, we were told it was a cable car, but it was actually a ski-lift. The longest ski lift in Asia! Not that you can ski there, as it never snows. Even a thousand miles north in Suzhou where Anne lives, snowfall that accumulates is a once-a-decade experience. We criss-crossed over a rivulet cascading down the mountain, took in the views, and enjoyed the 10 minute ride to the top. I constantly expected to see dinosaurs or something crashing through the forests below us, but there were only park employees, presumably searching for a dropped cellphone...


At the top we set off up the hiking trail. It was quite hot. Quite ridiculously hot. And I'm out of shape and hiking in my dress shoes. Not that that's anything new - we'd been doing about 7 miles most days - but it does wear on your calves. Note to self: Stop being lazy and take the huge suitcase next time.  About halfway up the trail, we took a wrong turn. There was a staircase that quickly crumbled into disrepair and the trail broke up. We turned around to take the trail, but our host asked if we wanted to take the vanishing trail. I was of course down for it, but the ladies thought we were crazy. So we broke the first rule of horror movies: we split up. The guys took the ever-worsening trail while the ladies took the official footpath. The trail was a washed out streambed in some places, a sketchy mule-trail in others. It was great. It topped out at the service entrance of a restaurant, which we cut through to rejoin the main trail near the peak. After several more staircases we finally made it to the top! 

It always feels great to summit a peak, even when machines do 90% of the work for you. But there were more peaks! I, acting "high", sarcastically suggested we go for the next peak, a mere 3km away (and straight uphill the whole way). They surprisingly agreed to it, so I had to start backtracking. Even though I was up for it, I could tell the rest of them really didn't want to. Going back and forth with my coworker we politely deescalated and chose to put it off until our next trip, and turned off down a side trail back to the lift. Going down offered even better views of the valley, and a bit of excitement when the lift suddenly stopped before a peal of thunder echoed across the mountains.  I was figuring out my odds if I had to escape (~80% chance of crippling myself) when the lift restarted and we were carried back down. The coming storm and approaching sunset cooled off the temperature appreciably though.

After we left the park, we went to a historical village. We drove through a half-vacant town past a number of modern abandoned villages, and eventually made it to the historical village. This village is also mostly abandoned, and right up my alley. This was an 18th century village, or maybe a recreation of an 8th century village. It had old halls and small canals, and I darted ahead like an excited puppy, pausing at corners to make sure the group was headed my direction and wouldn't worry about me too much. I walked brazenly into dark stone rooms, searching for interesting architecture to photograph. Unfortunately, with the fading light almost nothing turned out, so all my work framing courtyards and sunsets through ancient doors was for naught. Oh well, still had a blast taking the photos!

As it was now dark, we headed to dinner, and back to the hotel, exhausted. Time for an early night to sneak in 4 hours of sleep before we start heading home!

Thailand - King Rama IX Park

On Sunday we woke up early to have breakfast with Anne, before her flight to China to get a headstart on our next build. Meanwhile, we would clean up loose ends on the current build in Thailand. Our other coworker went back to bed, which left me alone with an entire day to relax.

I decided I'd set out to King Rama IX Park.  This was the only park near the hotel, but it was still large enough to offer plenty to see. The hike there was just over a mile and then I set about wandering around the lake, taking breaks at convenient places to photograph or read.  The park celebrates King Rama the 9th's water aerator. This is the only international patent ever issued to a monarch, and you can tell he's very proud of it.  The aerator increases available oxygen for fish and improves water quality, plus it's a nice background noise in the park.

Cacti from America!

There were a number of gardens throughout the park - including one just for medicinal and poisonous plants.  There were also greenhouses for jungle and desert plants. I particularly enjoyed the forest / stream built into the park. Mangrove trees and bamboo enclosed a series of artificial waterfalls, so I hiked the entire length of the waterway and decided I definitely need to buy property with a stream on it so I can play these games.

Also gave me a chance to play with the slowmo option on my phone... 

There were a few vendors selling old bread to feed the fish / birds, which is always fun. I grabbed some bread the birds missed and fed some fish myself. It was fun at 1/10th my age, still fun today...

Speaking of wildlife, there were a few monitors, including this one massive dude. He was pretty chill, content to let me read a few feet away from him as long as I stayed on my side of the tree.

But then the sky started to darken... I figured it was probably time for me to head back for dinner anyways, so I started back towards the markets. They sky went from hinting at rain to downpour within minutes.  I barely made it out of the park before the sky opened up.  Since I had no hard schedule, I took refuge under a canopy on the side of the road, where I was joined by a couple and their toddler. Eventually the rain stopped and I made my way back to the night market, taking several shortcuts that looked promising on the maps that did not work out at all.

I made my way back to the Night Market, which was just opening up. On my own for the first time this trip, I indulged all my vices. Which meant I bought a cigarette, a beer, and a switchblade. Actually a pair of switchblades, since when I asked my girlfriend if she needed a banana cat or a switchblade she said she needed a banana cat switchblade.

I eventually made it back to the hotel for dinner with my coworker, which featured all-you-can-eat sushi. It was a good day. Ended up walking about 10 miles.

Clearly custom, and clearly a work of art.

Thailand - Bangkok

This year, the company sent me to Thailand! Typically our team worked 14+ hour days, but on the weekend we finally had some free time and we were determined to make the most of it! By sleeping in!

Sleeping in accomplished, we met up around noon and grabbed a taxi to Central Bangkok. Despite being just 15 miles away, the cab ride took an hour.  Our host told us the southern side of the country is a short one-hour flight away! Or an 18 hour drive. That tells you almost everything you need to know about the roads in Thailand. That's not to say it was a boring drive. The highway was built over a river, providing all sorts of hydrological engineering to decipher, and the architecture in Bangkok is great as well. There was a building wearing a necklace that looked like a racetrack, a building with a claw on top, buildings that looked like boats, all sorts of weird stuff (in the best way).

Finally arriving in downtown Bangkok we were dropped off by the Grand Palace (est 1798). We were immediately greeted by a kindly local who warned us our female coworker's clothes were not conservative enough to get into the Grand Palace, and advised us on a wonderful tuk-tuk route we could take instead.  We ignored him, and went to the Grand Palace, where Anne's clothes were fine.  You could see the spires poking over the walls of the temple area, but it didn't really prepare you for the full tableau that strikes you when you walk through the gateway. The temple complex was packed with buildings, each of them tessellated in mirrored mosaic tiles. Except for the reliquary which is leafed in gold. Not accented or highlighted, the entire shrine was an unbroken layer of gold. We weren't allowed in, but apparently that building is where they keep a lock of hair from Buddha.

The wall bounding the temple complex tells the story of Ramakien. I can tell you the high points include making friends with monkeys, fighting dragons, fighting or possibly befriending mermaids, definitely fighting giants, building a temple inside another giant? climbing some clouds? it got weird.... to be honest I'm gonna have to read the book, it looked like a lot of fun.

There was even a scale model of Angkor Wat.  Angkor Wat is enormous, and so this model was also enormous, at least 30' on each side.  If anyone out there wants to go visit the real thing let me know, I'm absolutely down.

Angkor Wat chockablock with two other temples, renovation, and Japanese
 tourists posing. This is a 100% accurate experience.

The temple of the Emerald Buddha was the focal point of the complex. After taking our shoes off we shuffled in to check it out. Like everything else, it was overwhelming. As much gold, inlay, and mosaic as they could physically fit in to one building, with an enormous altar summited by a jade Buddha 4 feet tall and clothed in gold (There are multiple sets of clothes, and rituals to change them every season). Honestly, it's overdone. It could be much more beautiful if it were less extravagant and slightly restrained, more like the rear doors to the temple. These doors were some of the most beautiful craftsmanship I've ever seen - black enamel doors inlaid with delicate mother-of-pearl dragons writhing across the entire panel. Unfortunately the full panel doesn't photograph well since part of it is always in glare, but I found this sample.

And throughout the complex were statues of monkeys (who looked like demons), demons (who looked like the monkeys with larger fangs), half-man-half-rooster soldiers, half angel-half-rooster ladies... it was bizarre. In a great way.


When we finished with the temple complex we made our way to the palace itself (the ceremonial home of the king), which is remarkable for being western architecture with an eastern roof. Unfortunately it is only used for state functions and is not open to tourists. It looks like a classy place to have a swanky party.  We admired a few more impressive buildings and toured the on-site museum, which featured older parts of the temples, now replaced. The entire site is constantly under renovation and improvement, so the museum featured replaced portions of the temple, old thrones, gifts to the king and to the Emerald Buddha, even some elephant bones were featured here. Oddly, some parts of the museum were also shoe-free zones - but at this part of the trip it took far more than that to phase us.

By this point (4pm) we were worn out and ready for lunch, so we wandered towards a likely-looking market trying to find a nice sit-down meal. We saw a lot of foods for sale, but nowhere to sit, and when we rounded the next corner we were suddenly on a dock. Hey! In the (literally) 10 minutes of research I did on Bangkok I'd read that the ferry is the best way to cross the river and get to the other temple I was interested in seeing! And it was fifty cents. For the three of us.  So we took the ferry!

It was chaos. The ferry clipped the dock, hard, trying to spin around. Nobody really reacted, so it must be a normal thing. Another ferry was trying to slip into our berth as soon as we were moving, and fast boats were weaving between the larger ferries, so we were constantly cutting through/over chop.  There were two or three times where I legitimately thought there was a chance of collision with other boats. In short, it was great.

On the other side of the river the ferry emptied into more markets, more cramped and more eclectic, and more food! We ducked down an alley to a riverside cafe where we grabbed a table on the water.  Fancy soda drinks and a chance to get off our feet were both great. Eventually, we had pizza. Margarita (which tasted as expected) and Mexican Chicken (which was good, but tasted like an eastern approximation of dimly remembered tacos).  Unfortunately between slow service and the temples closing around 5pm we weren't going to make any more tourist destinations, so we strolled through the market. This market has cats - some scrawny and suspicious, some fat and happy... Eventually the market ended at another temple! Here service was underway and the temple was full of chanting worshippers. There were even a few overlow worshippers outside random windows, chanting along with the congregation.

It was now 5:30 and the shops were closing, so we made our way back through the market, back across the river, and back to our starting point.  From there we caught a cab and made the (now 80 minute) short drive home. Interlude! Time for ibuprofen, a huge bottle of water, and a bath.

We reconvened at 8:30 to find dinner. The in-house food wasn't all that appealing, so we went to the mall next door! We found a Sizzlers that let us pretend we weren't in Thailand for one meal this trip (the food here is never simple. I don't even bother asking what I'm eating. I know I've had a lot of shrimp, squid, and mushrooms, and I think I've had jellyfish and tripe as well. Not that it's bad, some of it is amazing - they're very happy to add sweet flavors where I'd never expect them - it's just complex and you can never let your guard down) I had a really good steak and a pretty weird seaweed salad.

Around 9:30 they started turning the lights off. I guess it's time to go! Leaving the restaurant we found they were turning the lights off in the mall as well. And the escalators (but as Mitch says, escalators can never break. They can only become stairs.).  The hotel had recommended the mall or the night market for dinner. What's a night market? No idea! But it's behind the mall, so we decided to find out.   It's a huge market that /doesn't/ close at 5:30 like everything else. Pop up bars, restaurants, clothing shops, tattoo parlors, it was enormous. We spent over an hour wandering, and at one point we stumbled into 1950's America. An old diner, a garage full of vintage American cars... it was bizarre.  But also very cool.  And also amazing people watching, since the younger generations were out in force, in every possible style.  On the way out of the market we found the coolest store ever. Switchblades, airsoft guns, plasma lighters...  I loved everything there. Unfortunately the rest of the crew was tired so we headed back to the hotel via 7-11 (I bought some milk candy. It's as bad as it sounds.)

And now it's midnight, and I have no idea what adventures tomorrow will bring. G'night!