Hawaii 3 - Road to Hana

 

Road to Hana!

Adam, Dani, and sage stayed home to deal with the covid, which seems to be getting better, but not 5 hours in a car better. My parents and myself left around 7am to drive out to Hana, along a road famous for it's turns and attractions.

Our first stop was Twin falls. A natural wonder belonging to the people that now has a parking lot attendant demanding $10 for the privilege, it's pretty great if you can get past that insult. We saw the top of the first falls, then walked out to the second set of falls (which would be twinned, were the water a bit higher). We decided to skip the third set of falls - which was a further 30 minutes up the trail, and we doubled back to see the bottom of the first falls. Good stop, with some cool nature and bamboo (so much bigger than the stuff we can grow in MD, and it made great noise). At the base it started to sprinkle, but after a couple minutes waiting under trees the rain wrapped up and we made a successful break for the car. 3/5 stars. Would be 4/5 for sure but they made it illegal to park in the pull-offs, just to force you to pay for it. We carried on quickly, hoping to stay ahead of the crowds.

After that, the road started to get narrow and twisty, as we were promised it would. A few miles down the road we saw the rainbow forest. These were a few stands of Rainbow Eucalyptus trees, whose barks made linear patterns in multiple colors. We pulled into a random spot with a shoulder, and wandered off the road to check out the trees. The trees were neat, and this was just fun. 4/5 stars - quick, easy, and exactly what it says on the tin.

At this point we were in for a longer haul, so I'll describe the road. It was like Tail of the dragon meets the narrow backroads of Ireland. Constantly twisting around outcroppings and into valleys, with blind turns on the outside and one-lane bridges on the insides. I honestly had a blast, ripping through the back roads while keeping it smooth enough my parents didn't notice, bullying cars into letting me pass, letting the occasional motorcycle through, and just constantly managing brake, throttle, and steering inputs to keep everything glassy smooth.  You do miss a lot of the scenery because you can't take your eyes off the road, but this is typically only an issue for a few mega overviews of the ocean, or the waterfalls often found off the one-lane bridges in the valley hairpins.  Most of the road is posted at 15, and even that is too fast for many of the curves. If your a car guy, you'll have a lot of fun. Just be smart about it, because there are absolutely spots where you'll need to stop for oncoming or risk flying hundreds of feet down a mountain.  Like I said, it was so much fun. 5/5

Our next stop was supposed to be the ancient aqueduct, a channel carved by hand into the mountain that carries millions of gallons across the island, but there were zero signs so we never saw it. So we continued on, doing our best to stay ahead of the crowds, to Halfway-to-Hana, where we drove down to the ocean to get some famous banana bread. Not sure why it's famous, but it is, and we had to get some. I got a coke, which I thoroughly enjoyed, and we stopped to check out the ocean and snack... as cars filled in behind us to get more banana bread... The crowds were coming! Back to the highway! I can't score this, as bananas are gross, and fruitbreads are gross, but it was a fun stop and a good stretch, and the caffeine killed the rumbles of a headache that were beginning to threaten. Hopefully not from Sage's covid.

Next we had a long stretch, almost all the way into Hana itself, stopping just early to visit the lava tubes. We got there at 10:35, just five minutes after it opened, and basically had the whole thing to ourselves. And it was awesome. The tube probably averages 16' in diameter, and is over 2 miles long. Unfortunately, the landowners only have permission to exhibit the middle 1/4 mile of it, but that is still a massive cave and full of cool stuff and learning experiences. It helps that I've thought lavatubes were cool since I learned this nature bullshit exists. Lets be honest. You shouldn't be able to melt rocks and then form them into giant straws several miles long. But apparently that's a thing and it's awesome.  To kick it up further notches, they're flecked with pyrite, and with chemolithotrophs, which are shiny bacteria slowly eating the rock. This flow was from 960 years ago (at least when the signs were made), from a volcano that's part of Haleakala- the volcano we drove up two days ago - but not from the section we drove up. Walking through the tubes, you can see various flows in the tube from across the years. There is the first flow that formed the shell, then secondary flows formed inner shells over the bottom part, which formed droopy flows on the floor, including some distinctive "bowling alley" formations - where the sides get blocked so you have two gutters to each edge while the lava flows down the middle... It's just ridiculous. Then you get the side tubes where lava leaks in from the surface, you get stalactites everywhere, and rare lava stalagmites.  Near the end (of the portion we were allowed to explore) there was a blow-out, where a boulder fell and obstructed the tube. This lead to a large room before the blowout where the lava pooled, and then a hole reaching out to the surface, letting in light, air, bugs, and seeds. Ducking under the rocks we got to the back portion, which featured a side tunnel we "had to" (got to) crawl into.

We wandered through all of this, checking out the cracks, the flows, formations, turning our lights off to see how dark it was (very), trying to get pictures, and occasionally - but rarely - passing other tourists. So very cool, and my favorite event of the day. 10/5 stars. So good.  Outside, we gave our flashlights back and walked through the hedge maze. These were very low hedges, but still a pretty hard maze. Luckily, we could step over the hedges when we made a wrong turn. Between the three of us we got it - with whoever had gone astray stepping over to the correct path, but it was a bit hot and sweaty to worry too much about getting it clean. We got a few more drinks, some local chocolate, a recommendation for a beach, and we set off to Hana itself.

Hana itself is a cute little town, with a few churches, parks, gift shops, etc... but we didn't do any of that. Dad read that the best beach was the red-sand beach, but it was deeply discouraged. There's no parking, the only signs say things like "risky trail you may die" and "respect our sacred land" and "no tourism" and shit like that. With that many warnings it must be great. We eventually found some streetside parking swooping in behind other tourists on their way out, and set off down the unmarked trail at the end of the road. The trail didn't start sketchy (aside from the "we told you not to do this you can't sue us" psuedolegal warnings, but it quickly became sketchy.  Gravelly trails on the side of a cliff, with nice dropoffs 30-50 feet onto the stony shore below. 1000% up my alley, tame enough to be within (but near the edge of) my parents comfort boundary, and the views were stunning. Green rainforest topping red and black cliffs plunging into the pacific ocean, with deep blue waves being smashed against them by the stiff north-shore winds. The sort of view that makes you feel alive.  The end of the trail was the sketchiest bit, so my mom hung out 40' above the red sand beach at the second-sketchiest spot, while my dad and I went down to the beach.

Most of it was red (and a few black) pebbles, but in regions they were ground to red sand, as promised. There was a barrier wall of rocks limiting the waves in the cove, and the whole thing surrounded by 100 feet of cliffs to every side. Absolutely beautiful. I can see why all the instagram models love it. I took a try at scampering across the boulders to the overhang on the far side, but they were spread out a bit too far and a bit too slimy to safely chance it. So we took a bunch of pictures, poked at the sand, and eventually headed back up to see mom.

On our way out, pausing to hang out on oceanside rocks that would be a standout attraction anywhere else, we passed a whole squad of instagram models heading the other way, checking their hair and struggling in their fancy flipflops. 7/5 stars. Absolutely great, and one of my must-do's on the island if you like waves and cliffs, two things I love.

Having had two great successes in a row, and beaten the crowds to all of them, it was time to eat lunch. We headed out to the beach recommend by the lavatube-doorman, a few miles past Hana. Both it and the nearby beach were gorgeous, but his was packed and had a bunch of stairs, and we were ready to chill for a bit. So we went to the nextdoor beach and found a spot where we could park, beachfront, in the shade. We had a picnic, birdwatched, surferwatched, and just enjoyed the success of our trip to Hana. 5/5 for this random picnic spot, probably the best car-picnic-spot I've ever picnicked.

Now, time to head back home. We were sorta worn out, and we'd already hit all the good stuff, so we had a short list for the way back. Maybe the arboretum, and the ancient irrigation canals. I started bombing it through the back roads, playing with a motorcycle and a jeep, not really doing anything harder than before, but my mom made the mistake of trying to research the arboretum and started getting carsick. So I dialed it way back and smoothed out whatever I could. There was slightly more traffic than before, and at one point I found a truck in a spot too narrow for cars, so we both backed up until he found a widespot which let me squeeze by with multiple inches of clearance. All this dumb stuff is fun for me, so great day.  Coming up to one of the switchback singlelane bridges, I caught a glimpse of a waterfall - one I couldn't look at before, as I was making sure the oncoming car stopped and let us off the bridge. So I pulled over and jogged down to it. I think it was Big Bear Falls? And it looked like a slice of Eden, with multiple waterfalls, a big pool reaching back into an alcove, a view of the sea in the distance... there were even a few people swimming there. 5/5 would recommend stopping for this one. I would have hiked in, but the parents were chilling in the car, so I kept it quick.

After this it was just a haul as we headed to the arboretum... which wasn't there. No idea if it was closed, or was written up wrong in the guide book, but it just wasn't there. There weren't even signs or evidence it was there, just a locked gate blocking a dirt trail and a mongoose! #3 for today. So we headed to the next arboretum! At this point, my knee was sore. Just too much delicate gas and brake, constantly, on a car that was very sensitive and jumpy on both. We got to the second arboretum and it was far too fancy for our tastes. The dude at the gate was giving every car in the line a 5 minute breakdown on all the attractions on the grounds, and then charging $20 per person. We didn't care that much, so when we got to the head of the line I gracefully apologized, told him we made a wrong turn, and looped to the exit.  Dad and I switched at this point, so he could drive the last 10% of the fun section, and I could take a break. It was interesting to see it from the passenger side, as you can take in the views, but you're also much closer to the stone walls and the foliage that you're occasionally forced to brush against.  Almost immediately, dad met a car in a narrow section and had to back up the hill 30' so they could pass, so he definitely got the full experience lol.

Checking the guidebooks, GPS, milemarkers... we thought we knew about where the irrigation channels were. There was some very suspicious straight blue lines on the GPS, and when we saw a dirt road at about the right distance, we grabbed the next pull-off to go check it out. We parked, hiked back to the dirt road, and set off. The road immediately became a path, and then that almost petered out. We ended up at an overgrown concrete aqueduct passing under a nearly-dry streambed, with rusted metal grates on it. This definitely isn't ancient and hand carved, but it was tunneled into the mountain and was clearly an irrigation project. I was expecting a (less cool) version of the Nazcan puquios of Peru, and ended up with a glorified storm drain. I have a secret love for hydrological engineering, to the point where I wander around checking drains during flash floods, so it was still fun for me, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else, and we spent the rest of the trip trying to figure out how this made it into the guide books. 1/5 stars, but it was funny.

Shortly after that we made it back to the real roads, and boogied back to the airbnb to hang out with the baby (and my brother/SIL). After chatting about our days, we wandered over to the food truck court, which was the trendiest foodtruck center I've ever seen. Pricey, but good food, and Sage was back to being an angel. Afterwards we walked over to the coast to watch the sunset, Adam grabbed a few beers for us, and we watched the sun peak out from behind the clouds to duck behind the horizon. I shot a timelapse, and hung out for a bit afterwards to continue, while they headed back to the house.

Back home, we played with the baby, put her to bed, and played some dice. Now, this. And listening to the upstairs neighbors clomp around. Fantastic day. A shame we couldn't bring the rest of the crew, but we saw some amazing scenery none the less, and I got to drive probably the best road of my life (combined score, twisties/scenery/tarmac).  Tomorrow, we fly out to the next island, and we see who gets to have covid there. Aloha.

Hawaii 2 - Snorkeling Maui

Today we had our big snorkeling trip. Dani was feeling better, but not better enough, so Dad used her ticket, and he, Adam, and Myself packed up and headed 15 minutes down the road for our trip. We signed the waivers, chatted with our fellow trip-mates (one was a pilot, so he and Adam had a lot to discuss), and killed time waiting for our boat to be ready for us. During which time, I looked up sunburn facts.  Did you know it's easier to get sunburned at the equator? Did you know that being at 10,000 feet halves the amount of time it takes to burn? Reading more about  UVB levels Haleakala is named as one of the easiest places to get burned!  And don't we know it - we're all a little toasty after yesterday, and made sure to slather ourselves with sunscreen.

I think traveling after a major disaster may be the best travel-hack. Our flight had plenty of room, and our snorkeling tour was only 11 of us - on a boat designed for 50. It was awesome.  We walked down the beach where they nuzzled the massive catamaran right into the knee-high waves, and scrambled up the ladder on deck, where they greeted us with fruit and breakfast. I'd already eaten, but it's hard to say no to pineapple juice. All aboard, we set off to Molokini Crater - a bird sanctuary and some of the best snorkeling around. On the way, perhaps because they had time to kill, perhaps because they're just like that, they grabbed a floating ball and a flipflop out of the ocean. We pulled into the bay and one of our deckhands (who had checked us in previously) dove off the boat, swam to a white marker, and disappeared deep beneath the water. She resurfaced with a line, and they tossed a mooring line to her, which she threaded through and swam back to the boat, before repeating the operation with the bow line.

Time to snorkel, we opted for the fast option - stepping off the side of the boat and plummeting 6 feet into the water. Definitely fun, and we were suddenly surrounded by fish. Well, not surrounded. Just the two fish that came to check out boat for barnacles... but after swimming a dozen yards towards the shore, then we were surrounded!

The water was ridiculously clear, warm, and probably 40' deep where we were moored. We did most our snorkeling between 10'-20', staying far enough off the rock wall that waves wouldn't push us into the sharp lavastone or corals.

The corals were plentiful, but only a few types - no where near as interesting as the fish.

Tangs, parrotfish, anglefish, elephantheads or whatever those long skinnyboys are called, it was a good mix of pretty large fish.  Highlights include a giant sea-star, a 4' long morey eel, an angelfish with a topfin twice as long as his body, and these weird super-fat sea urchins. I kept looking for an octopus against the odds, but didn't get quite that lucky. I think my favorites were the black dudes with thin aqua lines across their bodies. Just neat looking. I filmed a bit on the gopro, and passed it off to Adam for a bit. 

I struggled a bit with the mask leaking (apparently beards are a known hazard), and swapped out for some eye-goggles. They were terrible, the lensing effect threw off my depth perception, and water would try to go up your nose, it was just all bad. So I swapped back to a smaller mask and just like goldilocks everything was perfect.

After we wrapped up our time at the crater we went boarded the boat and headed back to shore. Oh, also, the bird sanctuary was full of pterodactyls. I should look up what they actually were [Frigates], but the wing and tail shape.... totally pterodactyls. Back near our departure beach, we stopped at turtle city! Apparently the sea turtles come here to hang out and get their shells cleaned, so they had a good idea where to find them. We splashed in and followed the staff to the first turtle! It was big, at least 3.5' long, probably 4 including the head. Maybe 4.5... but  disappointingly it was just sleeping down there, with a little fish occasionally nibbling at his shell.  Now that we knew what to look for we explored on our own, and dad almost immediately found another! And in swimming over to him I found a third! They were all pretty large, and just napping on the bottom, between hunks of rocks.

I kept exploring, checking out fish, we saw another morey slipping into holes, and I found a turtle that was moving! Finally! He was just hanging out half under a rock, but he kept looking about and occasionally turning around. So I just posted up and chilled, watching him. Now that I had my goldilocks mask I was set to chill for a while, so I did. And he swam up to the surface to get a couple breaths! Very cool to watch him glide through the water, and they look so much bigger at the surface than they do on the bottom.

The rest of the time was more of the same, Adam found a turtle in a deep valley we checked out, and I kept going back to visit the turtle I thought of as "my dude".  We came across another turtle swimming, and then everyone was headed back. I guess we got the signal, though I never heard it.  On the way back I checked out the rock outcropping that poked out of the surface, and there were two turtles swimming around! It's basically a giant arch with a passageway through it, and these two turtles were doing gymnastics together. So like half of us stopped for a bit to watch them, and then finally made our way back to the boat. Those two were for sure the cherry on top of a great snorkeling trip.

Onboard the boat, we got a beer and a surprisingly large lunch.  I had no idea all this was coming, I just said "ok" when they asked if I was in. It was great. We puttered back to our starting beach, had our lunch, and headed home. Oh, and the sun was brutal. Despite several layers of sunscreen, yesterdays sunburn was catalyzed into a serious... annoyance.  Then we walked down the ladder, ran up the beach, and made our way over a MUCH HOTTER path back to the van.

Back home, we hung out at the pool and caught up. Dani is essentially over her covid, and they spent a few hours at the beach with the baby, who was having a great time splashing around in the pool. And then, with all the sun and swimming, we were wiped. It was nap time, for everyone. I read in my book, although somehow it went to sleep on me when I blinked... Ok, it was probably a 15 minute blink, but it was rejuvenating and my burns weren't as annoying afterwards, so great success.

Sage is no longer an angel. She was angry, didn't want to sleep, didn't want to eat.... She almost certainly has Dani's covid. So we took dinner (great seafood from a local foodtruck) in shifts, staying home rocking the baby as she alternated between catatonically tired and unable to keep her eyes open, and screaming wildly while blowing her nose into our shirts. C'est la vie.

After dinner she finally went to bed, and we went out to watch the sunset (technically, I just missed it, but the post-sunset fadeout was still gorgeous). Then I went out solo for some new sunglasses (mine broke for the 4th time), and some burn cream - which was widely enjoyed all around the house. Then a bit of hanging out, cards, and journaling.

Tomorrow, we plan to do the Road to Hana while Sage and her parents chill at the house, and hopefully she can fight off the 'vid and get back to her angelic self.  If not, well, we can take it in shifts again.

Hawaii 0+1 - Maui

Welcome back! In late 2023 my Brother and his Wife put together a trip to Hawaii, and invited anyone along who would be willing to watch over their daughter for a few shifts here and there.  A trip to Hawaii AND we get to play with the baby? Both my parents and I were immediately all-in, and we over a week exploring the islands!

Hawaii Day 0: 

Slept a bit last night, and a bit more on our flights out to San Jose, where we met up with Adam/Dani/Sage. Then we had flew another 5 hours out to Hawaii. This flight was only 70% full, and since we showed up with a baby, we ended up with almost 3 entire rows to ourselves. But Sage was an angel, and this was the chillest flight I'd ever been on. We stretched out, people swapped seats all around, we talked to the family behind us because they adored Sage (like everyone), it was really enjoyable. Especially compared to the normal jam-packed survival of most flights. Between tourism being down, Hawaii tourism being down, and Maui tourism being particularly down.... definitely worked out in our favor.

First impression: Hawaii is gorgeous, more 3rd world than I expected, and quite warm. We picked up our rental car (on Island time) and I drove us out to our air-bnb which is a cute surf motel/condominium in Paia.

The AC was busted, but we figured out how to pull the fuse and reset the minisplits, and some of the crew went out to grab food while dad + I played with the baby. She made it almost the full hour just playing with toys, but the last 10 minutes or so she started crashing and I walked her so she wouldn't cry. Not an issue at all, she's an angel.

We went to bed early, I took the couch and made it several pages in my book before passing out, hard.... but we ended up waking up multiple times to fix the AC, limping it through the night.

Hawaii day 1:

We're sick of this airbnb. The AC has progressed from iffy to unlivable, and we decided we'd be happier elsewhere if only so we didn't have to debate the issue for the next 4 days. So we cancelled our reservation, which included a lot of phone calls and taking pictures of the AC "not working" :/   Ironically, or perhaps not, there was a magnet on the fridge about how you should only take away airbnb stars if the accommodations are truly terrible. Adam cooked us all breakfast, they found a new airbnb online, and we packed everything into the car.  I'm just along for the ride, so while they planned, I supervised sage and took pictures of a lizard that had very photogenically climbed up a leaf to pose, presumably just for me.

Anyways, off on today's adventure - the volcano! Haleakala.  We had a flexible schedule to account for weather, but the forecast and the weather number said the volcano was clear, so we headed up! Adam drove, while I navigated.  Despite being under 20 miles away, the trip took an hour - not including a brief stop in cow-country to check the diaper on a screaming baby.  Cow country was really cow country, they had a whole cowboy-themed town with western-style facades, branding, everything.  One restaurant bore the sign: "Eat here or we both starve".

The trip up was impressive, with switchbacks galore, several passes through recently burned land (including one house that had recently gone, and one that had somehow survived despite clear evidence of a wildfire sweeping through the entire valley surrounding it). I saw two large birds (aside from chickens). One that sorta looked like a kiwi or a quail, and one that looked like a turkey with a fancy tail, or a small peahen, or something... Since none of these birds live on the island I decided they must be NeNe, the bird they talk about on all their signs, a long-lost relative of Canadian geese from a flock that got VERY lost thousands of years ago. However, I retain the right to be totally wrong, since neither looked very goosey.

We stopped at the visitors center for a potty break, checked out the single room of displays, and headed up the mountain proper. We were already at 5000 feet, and the views were pretty amazing - looking straight out at clouds, across the Pacific to other Hawaiian isles, and down to the airport miles below us.  As we continued up the switchbacks (all beautifully paved and banked) we crossed the tree-line and headed up into scrubland - and the clouds. But the clouds were only on one side the mountain and intermittent. We'd call out the elevation markers as we passed... 6000, 7000, 8000....   The road was so steep it gave us a moment of pause looking out to the other islands, as our brains insisted the ground was level, which meant the ocean... wasn't.

Arriving at the top, our first stop was the crater overlook. In the parkinglot we saw the kiwi-looking birds! These are Chukar, or something. They're essentially half-qual half-puffins. We tried calling them quffins, but resorted to just puffins. The parking-lot puffins would check each newly arrived car for any crumbs falling out, and were overall quite cute.  We walked up to the overlook and it was incredible. Crossing the treeline felt like driving into a different country, but the overlook felt like stepping onto another planet.  Haleakala doesn't really have a crater, instead it has a bowl of cindercones - distinct piles of ashes from each eruption, building up to 600 feet high, and each with their own colors. Adding in the clouds sweeping up the valley there were green patches, black, grey, red, brown.... it was incredible looking and that alone made the drive worth it.

After admiring the view, we decided we'd try the short hike (.2mi+back) up to the secondary overlook. Knowing we were nearing 10k feet, we could feel the altitude making us breathe a bit harder... but it wasn't bad. Just a bit more winded going up the massive steps (8-14inches apiece). Sage rode in her backpack, which she adores. Constantly changing views, being on eye-level with the rest of us, plus - she's an angel.  The view from here was even better. If you ever go to Maui, this is the one thing I'd say is a must-do. Not only is the view even better, but since you can't see the parking lot behind you it's much more immersive - and you get it more-or-less to yourself (aside from the hiking crew of old hippy ladies, who loved Sage, and gave her some wild new-age life advice. It was great.

We walked back to the cars and headed up to the summit, a few minute drive up to the very peak. We walked up the path to the peak (10,123 feet!) and did the short hike around the circumference. The views of the other islands - especially the big island - were better, but the clouds were moving in and it wasn't quite as alien. However, the plants were. There were several infoboards all about the Ahinahina (SilverSword) plant, which looks like something out of a bad scifi movie.  They look like you took an aloe-vera and spraypainted it silver, but ran out of paint just before you finished the first coat.   Apparently they grow for 10-50 years, and then suddenly they burst from a low bush into a miniature Christmas tree covered in flowers - bloom - and then die. More weird scifi stuff you would think was far-fetched if you saw it in a movie.

After our circumference in the clouds there was one other todo that was on my Dad's list. He wanted to hike out the Sifting Sands trail, which goes down into the cindercones.  We parked back at the overlook lot, and set off down the trail. The plan was to do a few hundred yards, and then some of us would head back and take over baby duty so Adam and Dani (who are in way better shape than us) could hike deeper in. The three oldest of us hiked out a few hundred yards to where it began to get steep, and talked through our options. Mom was done (plus, she loves baby-time). Dad wanted to go further, and I wanted to get some video footage. Not really sure why, I just like shooting b-roll now and thought the clouds would look good in a time-lapse. Plus, I definitely wouldn't want to send my 67y/o father into a mountain desert alone... so despite being slightly apprehensive about the hike back up, we set off down the mountain while my mom doubled back to trade off.

The top bit was steep, but it looked like it leveled out after that, so we targeted a spot about a mile in and set off down the mountain. The hike was incredible. Back into the alien landscape, which could just as well be mars as anywhere on earth. It was weirder than that though, because if you looked up-slope you saw grey alpine peaks dotted with the weird scifi bushes. And the "level section" of the path was all downhill. And not just slightly, all very downhill. Much like the slanted-sea earlier, the extreme geography was screwing with us. As we got to our preordained target spot, we were slightly spooked by the exhausted hikers heading the other direction, but slightly relieved to see some of them had decades on my father (though likely not in need of a new knee - something my dad has scheduled for this winter). Now here, we saw what appeared to be a great overlook a few hundred yards further. That, we decided, was our final-final spot. And as we approached it, Adam and Dani caught up from behind us, jogging down the mountain!

The overlook was a great overlook, offering another perspective on the bizarre cinder cones. And the path was soft, but not slippery, providing a great hiking surface. We hung out, chatted, and snapped some pics. My dad knew / was afraid it would take him ages to go back up, I wanted to shoot my timelapse, and the fit hikers were thirsty for more - so we talked it over, and my dad decided to start back now, I stayed to shoot, and Adam/Dani set a new target a half-mile further into the cindercones. It was a great plan. I shot video and watched them through the binocs as they jogged off into the distance, and 20 minutes later when they made it I looked back to see my dad half way up the mountain!  I packed up and set off to follow him.

It wasn't easy, but it wasn't terrible. I can best describe it as a grind, where you did your best not to think, put one foot in front of the other, and before you knew it you could look back and admire the progress you made. I definitely felt the altitude, but it didn't get worse over time. You were just on the edge of being winded the whole time, but never actually winded - at least not at my slow+steady pace. I almost caught up to my dad, but he stayed ahead the whole time. Back up top, I set up another timelapse and watched Adam+Dani make their way up, followed by a group on horseback! Fascinating landscape, and just a joy to be out there. When they caught up we walked back to the car where we learned Sage had slept the whole time! Because she's an angel, lol. And uphill had been kinder on my dad's knee than downhill had been, so we were all in great spirits.

On the way down the mountain there was one final overlook, so we hit that too! It wasn't as good as the others, but any cliff-side overlook of a volcano is still fantastic, and offered a great view of the trail we'd taken. It was pretty amazing to see it from this perspective, where it looked even steeper than it had from the bottom. But now the clouds were rolling in heavy, so we set back down the mountain in earnest - with the minivan locked in low gear the whole time.

At times, the clouds were so thick we couldn't see 100feet down the road. Even when we could, I'd often look out the other side of the car and only see sky. It could be a Chrysler minivan, it could be a Chrysler puddlejumper. Again, just so different and so fun. I reached out the window and the clouds were cold and wet, just like you'd expect. Oh! And we saw more of the turkey-peacocks! They're ring-necked pheasants. Now that I knew they lived here (they're non-native, so they get no press), that's definitely what I saw before. No NeNe's for me. Even if it is the only bird Sage can name.

Back down the mountain, through the burns, switching the switchbacks, and down to Paia for a late lunch. We had been alone on mars, now we were in a tourist-town filled with surf bums and instagram models, and ordered fish. The fish tacos were massive, the fish burgers were massive and overspilled their buns, and the blackened sashimi was a delicious twist, but not quite as good as I'd expected.  And the caffeine and lemonade did wonders to get us refueled and ready to set off across the island.

Our new airbnb was on the opposite coast, so headed back to the airport, stopped at a pharmacy to get some sudafed for Dani who has been feeling stuffy since the plane, and then headed off past more cattle farms and abandoned sugarcane mills to Kihei.  This town was less "authentic", it's kinda the LA of Maui. Lots of chain stores, condos, and a surprising amount of homeless people. But the airbnb was great. Not only do I have my own bedroom - with a BED! - we also have multiple air conditioners that all work. And a pool! All just a row back from the beach.

After settling in, we decided to walk down the beach, again in shifts so we can leave someone with the baby. My parents and I headed down to the harbor to watch the surfers (and the homeless), and cut through the park to head over to the icecream place. Beautiful park, but definitely full of characters, some of whom clearly enjoyed their substances. Icecream acquired, we watched the sunset, checked out the house for sale across the street (only $10M), and got back to our place, where we found out.... Dani has covid. And we've all been in the same car all day, sharing water bottles, some of us sharing food... so we'll see.

Tomorrow is our snorkeling trip, so we'll see who feels up to take the 3 tickets we brought, and make the best of it. Now I'm gonna drink some more water, read a few chapters, and hopefully sleep 10 hours again to prep for further adventures :)

Italy - OnlyFloors

 

Italy 13 - Vatican City - Fin

Another early morning with less sleep than I'd needed, but I had a coke in the fridge and high hopes for the day, so we set off early for the Vatican. Our crew had slowly dwindled, and today we were just myself and my parents. We took a cab (thank God) and met up with our tourguide at 8.30am across the street from the Vatican Museum. This was a very specific tour guide, his tour covered all the ins and outs of the group entrance, the ticket counters, and the stairs to the final check-in gate. Essentially, it's legalized scalping. He gets their cut, the Vatican gets their cut, and the authorities get their cut... but it also means we don't have to wait in a 1-2hr line, and when in Rome.... 

The Vatican museum is an amazing collection of artifacts from all over the world, donated by various countries, churches, and ridiculously wealthy popes throughout the years. Far far far too many artifacts. They don't even bother writing up a blurb on 90% of them, there's just a catalog number. Probably. I would bet a large percentage of my net worth even they don't know all the works of art they own. But many of them are really cool. After we checked out the Fontana de Pigna, the courtyard named for the giant [2nd century] statue of a pinecone inexplicably adorning the one end, we headed off to check out the wing of all the Egyptian artifacts. This was seriously cool, artifacts from ~1500BC -> 200AD, sarcophagi, statues, tablets, even a few mummies and jars for all the organs of the mummies (Bonus fact: When they were rushed they didn't bother removing all the organs, but they still put the jars in the tombs to pay homage to the various deities who expected to receive those organs). There was another room that looked to be all Egyptian artifacts, but it was actually full of roman knockoffs that some emperor used to decorate one of his gardens, including a statue of Osiris whose face was modeled on his prematurely-deceased son's. To round off the section, there were some Babylonian artifacts, busts and text from the reign of Nebuchadnezzar, including a cuneiform tablet wrapped in clay, which had cuneiform and seals upon that - ensuring that the message reached the recipient without any (undetectable, at least) eavesdropping. As a Snow Crash fan, that particularly stood out to me.

Organ jars!

Babylonian Tablets

At this point we realized the museum only really had one main path through it, and everyone was doing the Egyptian region along with us. However, here we came to a fork - we can continue to the roman section, or we could hit the Etruscan section and see the pre-roman artifacts. "We could speed-run some pots"  we decided. And that's essentially what we did. There were was some cool jewelry, pieces of chariots, bronze spears, "Spits" whatever those are (oh duh, they're skewers for cooking), a shield... and then pots. So many pots. Oil pots, food pots, decorative pots, vase pots... speedrun was the right choice. We didn't even take the "more pots and vases" branch.  The pots looked very Grecian, which makes sense since they were contemporaries.

A mere fraction of the animals

After our pot detour, we headed into the roman statuary hall. This was also simply overwhelming. One of the most fun sections was the two rooms filled with animal sculptures. Large small, foreign, domestic, single, mid-attack, hundreds of animals. And, of course, busts everywhere. Even mixed into other rooms, or art rooms, just throw some ancient busts on the wall, why not.  My favorite sculpture room would be the pantheon-inspired room. Featuring a giant red porphyry bowl (originally Nero's bath, stolen from the ruins of the town center we'd explored a few days prior in authentic roman fashion), the circular room had a domed roof painted in a near-replica of the pantheon, a mosaic floor lifted wholesale from a mansion, while statues of Roman gods filled all alcoves around the perimeter. After seeing so many places where they should have stood but didn't, it was cool to finally see them for real.  The octagonal courtyard was another standout, it was Pope Julius  II's favorites and personal collection, and they were incredibly well done. Super deep and intricate carving on various statues and tomb covers, surrounding an open courtyard with a fountain in the center, it stood out even among a sea of masterpieces.

Then came the art rooms. I'm not a big art guy, so I started taking pictures of floors, because I love some good pattern mosaic. See my standalone post for more on this. I think we went through the Borgias apartments or something at this point, lots of frescos and intricately painted ceilings,  but the caffeine was fading, my lack of food was showing, and I the art was all blurring together. Plus, my mom was getting excited for the crown jewel so we were distracted by that too. Almost there. But then came the tapestry rooms. Incredible work, they took 50 women 3 years to embroider - each - but rugs really don't do it for me.  Almost there! But then came the map room, another 100 yard hallway, this time filled with maps. It was cool to Pompeii go missing between the "Italy in antiquity" and "Italy now" maps, but it all felt like distractions at this point. Almost there, and the crowd knew it. And then came the modern art rooms. A giant Matisse. Still boring. Dalis, good but paled compared to what we just saw, feels like they're just wasting time now. Some room full of Modern art - projected video of people walking. They've got to be messing with us. Finally, we finally arrived. The main goal for today. The Sistine chapel.

Not my picture, I wasn't getting yelled at

It was great. It was doubly great because they had seats. You weren't allowed to talk or take pictures, but everyone's seen photographs of the Sistine chapel, and tbh you get a better view in those pictures than you do IRL. There are SO MANY individual panels, none of them can be massive. But it was absolutely fun to see them all, with so many others who were so enraptured.  It felt like a pilgrimage for a religion I don't believe in - I guess the Church of Michelangelo. Great work, and I could follow all the saints and bible stories, and the the central picture is absolutely a masterpiece that outclasses almost all other paintings I've ever seen... but I'm not a painting guy and imho it wasn't worth the 4 hours of hiking that most of the people in the room did just to see this one chapel.  But I took in the details and legit enjoyed it while I waited for mom to listen to an entire podcast. I'm not about to rush her through the crux of a pilgrimage.

The rest of the Vatican museum was meh. It wasn't the same caliber as the beginning highlights, and it's hard for anything to hold up after the Sistine chapel, especially when it's stamps or coins or whatever. Plus the crash I was putting off came back, hard. We headed to the cafeteria and got some cold meh pizza and some cold coke, but I was still not feeling it.  So what did we do? Got back in line for the Basilica! We'd scoped out the Sistine->Basilica shortcut, but since our tour-guide had abandoned us at the entrance, we would have to sneak into another tourgroup. Unfortunately, the only security guard diligently doing his job was posted at that door, precisely because he knew people like us were looking at it longingly.

So we went out the main gate, around the corner, into the sun, and got into the hour-long line. The Vatican plaza is pretty cool. Massive columns surrounding the center obelisk (which was stolen from Egypt, moved to Rome, watched Christians burned alive as a half-time show during chariot races on this site, and is now topped with a cross, a proper Christian monument). The whole scene looks awesome with the basilica in the center overlooking it all.  Speaking of, the reason St Peter's Basilica is here at all is because The apostle Peter was martyred here in this plaza for spreading the word, and buried on the hill behind it. As Christianity became more widespread and accepted, they first built a church on this site, then built the basilica around the church, before disassembling the interior church and continuing to improve the basilica.  I heard all this while I shuffled through the bright sunny shadeless line while sleep deprived, sore, edgy, and verging on heatstroke. And then I was called upon, half an hour into this self flagellation, to demonstrate the Peace of Christ and not punch a dude in the face as he cut in line ahead of me.

Thankfully, as soon as I stepped into the basilica itself he was instantly out of my mind, because the basilica is baller. This felt like a holy pilgrimage, which came as a total surprise since I'm not Catholic. We split up and wandered the basilica on our own, and I was basically in awe the whole time. The basilica is huge. Something like 200 yards long and 100 yards high, it barely even feels like a building. It's like being inside a mountain, and throughout the mountain are giants. Statues of saints and popes, including some you've grown up reading about in church,  all at least double life size. At the head of the church, flanked by beckoning popes, is an empty throne waiting for Christ to return, while the sun bursts through the stained glass behind, decorated with the dove of the holy spirit descending to earth.  And it's all fabulously well done, designed by the masters, fabricated with no expense spared.  I've been in a lot of churches, a lot of cathedrals, and this one hit me like no other. Plus, I love some good marble.

We exited through the crypts, where the tombs of the popes (including Peter at the center of the church) are on display, and made our way outside. There was a penny-smasher, which excited me because I used to collect them as a kid, but I didn't have a euronickel, and the nearby vendor didn't have a euronickel, so I was gonna give up and just be sad. But my dad went and bought a couple nickels from a more distant vendor for a quarter and saved the day! And then we tried to figure out what to do next, and ended up saving they day for the next family who was struggling with the same struggle. Anyways. Now that the caffeine was hitting and having cooled off in the Vatican, I wasn't quite as dead, and the day was still kinda young. So we decided to hit the fort we'd seen on the cab ride over. (Cab rides are still awesome. They don't follow the route uber says they should at all, they pass on the shoulder, they slam on the brakes while cutting off a bus because someone stepped out into the street without looking... great fun). 

Castello San Angelo. It looked old and looked like it had great views, and google said it was only a 7 minute walk (which was one of our main criteria). It was pretty great too. Originally built as a mausoleum for Hadrian, the building which was started in 100AD has evolved continuously since then. The line was sunny but quick, and we were into the shade and inside in about 5 minutes. You enter the castle through the ancient entryroom, and then wind 30' upwards around a long helical ramp (that's 2000 years old) to the mausoleum itself. This room was inset into the ground, but in the renovation from mausoleum to fortress, they put a drawbridge over this room, so that they could seal off the upper levels of the castle from invaders, while being able to shoot down at any fool who attempted to build their own bridge across the gap. Growing upward, the next expansion of the castle replaced the garden on top of the castle with a keep. This keep was filled with exhibits showing the armory of the castle (I finally learned how open-breech cannons work! I feel like I could build one...), and dioramas explaining how the mausoleum/castle grew over time.  The next level up featured rooms from when the castle became a refuge for the pope. A protected escape tunnel was built from the Vatican to the fort, so that the pope could flee to this highly-defensible position when under siege, which meant that the castle needed highly-appointed rooms, with fancy fireplaces acquired from other palaces, and excessive amounts of painted ceilings and such. I'd already had my fill of such, but mom liked it, so that's cool. The next level featured a restaurant and some amazing views, and the roof had great views. The colosseum was in the distance, the Tiber in the foreground, and the Vatican front and center, while Archangel Michael was on the roof, a giant statue sheathing his sword (he was seen thusly, here, in a vision by the pope signifying the end of the black death. And his statue has been here ever since, except when it was destroyed by sacking, fires, or lightning as it has been five times so far.)  The trip back down the fortress included a trip around the outer walls, where the defensibility of the castle really sunk in. Overlapping fields of fire, interior and exterior motes that were exceptional killing fields, and a sprinkling of catapults (and literal thousands of stone balls for them) and castellation  mixed in for good measure. On my recommendation list for Rome I think I'd go 1) St Peters 2) colosseum 3) Pantheon 4) St Angelo 5) Forum 6) Sistine chapel. But that's very biased by my appreciation for old architecture and good rocks. 

At this point our legs and feet were dead. They'd been iffy to start off the day, the tape which protected my ankle was bruising my arch, and we were 5 miles in (on top of the 90 or so from the last two weeks). So we took a cab home, cleaned up, and went out for dinner. Burned out and having feasted on Italian to our hearts content, we got burgers and beer. At a gay bar. We didn't know it was a gay bar, but everyone there was either obviously a tourist, or obviously gay - including the waiters. Burgers were great though.

One more early morning, and we get on a plane tomorrow. Maybe I'll come up with a classy conclusion mid flight, or maybe we'll end this trip to my motherland by saying: It was great, I'm glad it's over, and now I have to pack for the next adventure.