Scotland 3 - Stirling to Kilmartin

I slept several hours, and then didn't sleep for many hours, but then slept a few more. No idea what numbers go in these slots, but "not great, not terrible"

We're gonna skip past packing, reversing our tram, a short hike, and start with the main event: Driving. We picked up a 9 passenger diesel Mercedes, which I (based on my extensive prior experience piloting large vans) get the privilege of driving around for the next two weeks. The first mission was a mile back to the tram station to pick up the wimminfolk, which went well enough if you ignore a handful of one-way violations in the parking lot. 

The second undertaking (and we were definitely both undertaken and overtaken) was Stirling Castle - which meant we could turn left through a couple of roundabouts and cruise down the motorway. All very simple until we got turned away at the gates of Stirling Castle because the lot was full, requiring a three(five)-point-turn and some narrow one-lane roads that they pretend are two-way, before we ended up in an even tighter car park. Crept it over a kerb and called it sorted.

Stirling Castle!

This is the second-best castle in Scotland (Allegedly. According to our guide there is a massive rivalry with Edinburgh, ranging from castles to football to Christmas Trees) - it's definitely the second most historically important castle in Scotland, as it controls the southernmost ford on the River Forth - if you want to move an army from one place in Scotland to another, it's probably going through Stirling.

The lunchroom queue slithered up the alleyway, so we started with a tour, which offered a nice overview of the castle and how it ties into history. William Wallace, Mary Queen of Scotts - Stirling castle was central to the plots. Yet again we toured another ornate ballroom that Oliver Cromwell decided would be better as barracks.

Fun facts: The royalty has their receiving room, their sitting room (if you were important enough to get in), and their bedchambers for those who were extremely close to the regents. Or if the regents wanted you to think you were really close - they used this apparent intimacy as social lever, and actually slept in another room through a hidden door. This secret smaller room was both easier to warm and harder to attack.

Mary was 6 days and 9 months old for accession/crowning? [I was understandably unsure here. Mary's father James the 5th died six days after her birth, apocryphally stating "The Stuart crown came with a lass, it fits it'll end with a lass." She was crowned 9 months later at Stirling castle, in an attempt to stabilize things politically. It didn't. It kicked off the Rough Wooing. That's right, the rough wooing began when the potential bride was still shittin her nappie.]

After the tour, lunch! It was quite good, and recharged us for a second pass.  We hit the royal apartments, the kitchens (or rather, the 1/6th of the kitchens that survived the military's takeover of the post, as they filled these rooms with dirt and rubble to turn it into a platform for cannons. After the kitchens, we all split up - my personal target was the back castle wall, on the hunch it would offer a great view of sheep beneath mountains. It did.

After the castle, I thought we were gonna jump on the highway and chill for the two+ hours to tonight's stop.... but it was not chill highways. It was narrow two-lane roads, and I definitely dipped a wheel into the gravel a time or two when oncoming traffic met in tight turns. I slowly began to learn exactly how wide the van was, how standard a 150* turn was, though I still had to remain totally focused the whole time. No gazing at the scenery, checking out cairns or castles, I was actively working to keep us in our lane. This was complicated by the fact that the speed limit on these back roads is 60mph - A goal I approached but rarely satisfied. We shot through the woods, curved around lakes (I mean lochs - including bonny bonny loch lomein or however that song goes [Bonnie Loch Lomond, you heathen]), and wound up the torrs (check word [got it]). Very picturesque from the few glances I could spare when the road was straight and empty. I did get to take in the views when we were stopped for road-work - avalanche prevention/remediation - I'd wax poetical on the technical details but I was too busy slaloming construction equipment.

Ada almost made it, but during the last 45 minutes she faded in and out of disaster-territory. By the end, I wished I could also scream through all five verses of "B! I! N-G-O!" but I persevered until I had to veto Miss YoutubeBabysitter, whose name I have currently blocked out. Needs Must.  I was very relieved when we got to the hotel, which is also where we're having dinner. The waitress is the concierge, the owner the cook, it's basically a tavern which is awesome. 

Once we dropped off our bags and headed down to dinner, Ada wasn't ready politely wait in her seat, I was also tired of sitting politely, so we went the (carpeted!) stairwell, to play her favorite two games. 1) Climb the stairs 2) Pull the books off the shelf and stack them in a pile.  I'm with her, this is way more fun than sitting in chairs literally on their last legs. We returned just before the first course - I chose venison and pork burgers. Not great, not terrible. [They were totally decent, and far better than not sleeping.]

For dessert, a quick walk around the graveyard next door to see some 800 y/o stones [old stuff is automatically cool] until it started drizzling. Finally a lukewarm shower and comfy bed in a big-enough closet. Good day.