Vietcong 3: Tunnels

 Day 3 - Tunnels

There is a day where authentically local becomes too authentically local, and that day was this morning.  We started off the day with a breakfast of Pho around the corner, which sounds good, but "authentic" pho means they're throwing tripe (stomach? check if those are the same thing) in there even if you order "Shrimp" (a term which can be disappointingly singular).  Actually, lets back up. We started by falling asleep at 3 or 4 in the morning, because living three deep in a one room apartment means the lights and noise don't stop until the last person goes to bed, and getting up at 6.30 because the lights and noise start when the first person rises... Hopefully that puts the rest of today's post in context.

The next flaw in authentically local is deciding to take the bus (and by the bus, I mean three busses) to save 90% over a taxi. 90% which is also known as $35. And this journey (along with the rest of the day) is undertaken with 3 bags full of food and water. Not backpacks or purses, bags you have to carry in your hands the whole time. An entire day's worth of groceries, because groceries are cheap, restuaraunts are expensive, and the price-gougers at the gift shop will charge you $0.35 for a bottle of water. 

Now we add the neighbor kid deciding to tag along. /Tai/ is 9 and was super excited, and his mom figured it was fine to send him off with Lou, Mom, and I. This was actually adorable and a great example of the close-knit community they have, so we can strike that from the "too-authentic" list.  Unfortunately, his teacher was unwilling to let him skip class today despite the educational outing, so we got a panicked call on the bus and hopped off the bus a few stops down the line to wait for his dad to pick him up on a scooter. Anyways, the feel-good reprieve is over, back to the rant:

I know what you're thinking - there's an easy solution to all this! Sleep on the bus! That imminently reasonable suggest is complicated by sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers, the quality of the pavement (or lack thereof), the quality of the suspension (or lack thereof), and the propensity to use the horn as a greeting, threat, warning, or - and I swear I'm not exaggerating - at least once on a deserted stretch of road, just for the fuck of it. In case that wasn't enough, **the turn signal is hooked into a siren**. It's a polite siren, not as loud or as piercing as an emergency siren, but there's no other word for it, and apart from a few random and sporadic reprieves it spent the whole trip singing it's heart out. So I saw an interesting slice of life across the city followed by some great views of the farmland around saigon. Rice patties, of course, but also a lot of oxen and rubber plantations. 

Finally (after another hike), we arrived at our destination: The tunnels of the Viet Cong! My first priorities were to find the gift shop, buy a coke, and pound it. The caffienne worked a treat, but it's worn off by now, so I wrote this back in the 3-hours-of-sleep temperment. You know, for authenticity.

The plan is to rewrite the rest of this when I'm not sleep deprived (or the deprivation is masked with caffiene, you know, for authenticity) so it's just a dump:

put some background on operation hammer and anvil or whatever here.  100km of tunnels, they destoyed 10, etc etc

1st was a diorama show. Massive diorama. All in vietnamese obviously. Probably propaganda. But huge and it had smoke machines, airplanes and helicopters on wires, tanks driving around, super fun even if I didn't understand a word.

2nd was a short film, in terrible CGI, showing the tunnels. Definitely propaganda, but at least it had subtitles.

3rd was the walking tour

         Started off showing a replica village

         pungee pits

         really like showing off replica villages

         single tunnel

             slightly enlarged for tourists. You can duck over and walk

         stop for lunch where we saved at least $2 by carrying everything all day

         whatever at least the bags are slightly lighter now

         maybe mention the stupid hats coming in clutch?

         landscape is still pont du hoc with all the craters

Then we had a reinactment, basically diorama write large, field of broken tanks, smoke machines, no real explosions, and 2 VN actors

                 two US actors show up 

                 I bet they die

                 They die

                 Everyone cheers

         I thought we really only got 1 tunnel out of this whole thing, but turns out

4th was the tunnel tour

         Different ticket altogether

         starts with a propaganda film

               Like legit propaganda film. Period footage of men smiling and planting rice with rifles on their back. Some small girl with a sniper rifle being awarded the "Status of Hero for Killing Americans" no lie that's what it's called. We got assigned to the english pavilion for this showing but they didn't dial back the propaganda at all. Note too self: look up if they really contaminated the spears because they repeatedly didn't mention it despite explaining how they weren't designed for instant death, word that better

         Finally, tunnel tour

         Starts off on easy tunnel, 

         Then we get to tunnel with authentic opening size: rifle goes first, feet go second, arms go last for shoulder size requirements as well as to replace lid, and don't be fat or kitted out

         medic tunnel goes somewhere, it's boring

         tunnel with meeting room - spikes in corner to trap flanking maneuvers

              This has the long tunnel going out from it. 

              mostly duckwalkable, but parts are easier bear crawling. Certain points do force you to hands and knees. write about how suicidal it would be to attack these 

         finally, commanders tunnel and then snack break

         cassava is the local delicacy but cleverly, it also makes you thirsty. Along with crawling through tunnels.  But we saved that $0.50 AGAIN.

         Mom stole the extra cassava. Smoke tunnel/chimney

That's it. Walk back to bus.

bus home. Lou shows locals really can sleep through all that shit. Rush hour traffic, magnified by NYE.

visit local friends parents, coconut jelly.

see boy from earlier, he's sad.

shower, dinner, didn't say a word since they were on a call in VN the whole time.

packing for tomorrow where we fly across the country to do tourist shit. Probably heading out to the airport around 5am so skipping NYE celebrations downtown tonight. But lets be honest, probably gonna be up till midnight anyways.

Vietnam 2: Slightly less chaos

 

Day 2

A quick breakfast a pho, a stop to exchange some money, and visit to the mobile shop for a cheap esim ($8/month, 4gb/day, unlimited calls and texts!) and then back into the city on scooters, this time for some governmental paperwork. Yesterdays sandal shenanagains left me with a blister, so today I wore boots - and between the acclimitization, sunconciously learning to adjust my body position to the traffic and the feel of the engine, and not worrying about losing a VN SLANG FOR SANDAL on the freeway, the ride was way more chill. I do have a new favorite part of the <emergent swarming behaviour, word>: Traffic circles. The bigger and more complicated the better. Thousands of animals <word?> reacting to hundreds of stimuli multiple times a second, and all being fed back into the system in an infinitely iterative loop.  Anyways, enough bioinformatics nerd shit, on to government paperwork!

I wasn't allowed in the embassy, or consulate, or whatever it was, so I found a park attached to a nearby bank and posted up with my kindle, enjoying the shade and rubbing fountain water on my arms to stay cool. After a few chapters, Lou emerged from the beaurocracy with a form directing her to another branch of the beaurocracy. We made our way over, and then I settled in with a book for what was sure to be hours of good reading... However I was only a few pages in when she emerged! Apparently you can pay people to deal with the paperwork for you, and they deal with the lines and the forms - and just like that a few hours opened up!

So we went to the old presidential manor! An iconic structure straight out of vietnamese history and featuring prominently in the War, it's now open for tours and taking selfies at! Apart from the inspired architecture (the house forms several vietnamese characters from certain angles, in addition to catching the breezes and sunlight from every side), the first thing we noticed was the quantity of tiktoks and instagrams being captured in the front yard, most in full ceremonial dress. As an outsider, it's an odd perspective to see this stark reminder of "defeat" being treated as a stunning symbol of victory and perserverance.... but I'm probably reading too much into this. The important part is it's a good excuse and an aesthetic backdrop. 

After checking out the soviet tanks (known for barreling into the yard) and the US fighter jet (known for being stolen from an airbase by a brave hero of the revolution and bombing the palace) we headed inside to check out the staterooms, meeting rooms, living quarters, etc of the palace. (CHECK WORD). While the history was cool, it's a stunning example of 1960s/70s architecture on the inside was well as the outside, adorned with fantastic design work, especially in the furniture. Classic examples of mid-century modern woodwork abound, (LOOK UP ARCHITECTURE TERM) and I was more into them then the history.  We wound our way up to the roof, where they have a huey parked on the roof, next to two red circles denoting the bombing run of the aforementioned F4 fighter. Technically the last chopper out of Saigon was at the US Embassy (FACT CHECK), but the evocation is powerful and hard to miss. 

On the way down we exited through the bunkers, a set of radio-chambers, armories, shooting ranges, and bedrooms staggered beneath 1m and 2.5m of cement, all well preserved. The classic mercedes alongside was a good reminder that this is as much flaunting the spoils of war as a museum, but there's an aspect of that in most museums if you think too hard about it.

After the palace, the tickets also got us into a side-house (WORD) which had an exhibition about the history of the palace, as a lens to review the history of the country from french colony to dictatorship, assassination, to civil war. To be honest, there was little architecture and no furniture so we kinda skimmed it all and moved on.

Having experienced this amazing "touristy" site, Lou wanted to hit more touristy things she'd never seen. The iconic post office is now a tourist trap, and we tried to book a tour-bus around the city but that was a bust due to the timetables. So we went to the Cathedral! Which is closed for renovations. So we went to the famous opera house! Which won't let you in if you don't have a ticket for a show....   Having exhausted the major "Tourist" things in this part of town, we now did the "touristy" thing all the locals are doing: Riding the metro.

The very first metro line opened last week, and the second stop is at the opera house! Since it's free for the first month to drum up interest and sell the idea to the masses - everyone is riding it, posting about it (and the need for deodorant) on social media, etc etc.  So we took it out to the end and back! Growing up outside DC, I've been riding the metro since I was in a stroller... which made it cute to see all the first-timers form orderly lines, grab one handle apiece, and face forward. Luckily it also means they didn't know the best seat in the house: Very back of the train, so you can look out in all three directions. The line starts off underground, so check out this sweet video: 

Is this an idea I stole from some random guy in an airport last year? Absolutely. But look how cool it turns out:

<hyperlapse video>

After the first three underground stops, the train switches to elevated rails and soars across the city. We took it out all 10 stops to the end, hitting a max of 89.9kph between stations (we could see the cockpit display), and getting a great overview of how city fades from metropolis to industrial to housing and education as you head out of the city. Honestly, better than the bus-tour, and more fun. And 80% of the people who made it to the last stop stayed on as the train switched directions to head back into the city.

On the way back we got off at the water-park, mostly because it had an artificial mountain with a giant face on it, and because why not. Metro is free! We have to get off somewhere. The park was closed for the season, but that didn't stop us from taking dozens of pictures for Instagram, just like the locals. What I said before about the symbology of victory as a backdrop and the depth of instagram... nah. Totally wrong. Every time the train rolled into a station, there were at least a dozen camera-phones clicking. There were tiktoks being filmed on the platforms, with or without the train there for context. One family got on the train just to take some instagram shots holding the handles and got off at the next station. Turns out any excuse is a an excellent reason, the Vietnamese love taking pictures. [I ran this by my local cultural consultant who said "Don't worry it's not racist, it's true"  Update: She's getting a manicure from her sister, while both she and a neighbor are filming]

As we headed back into the city the train filled to the brim. Not quite as bad as Japan, but very nearly reaching those levels, and we exited the train at the first station (with this cool roof!) in a surge? tide? of humanity.  From there, it was scooters and back home.

The dinner plans were 1) family style at home, and 2) later, go out with friends for food.  For family dinner one of Lou's school friends came by, and we all ate at her mom's apartment (in the same block). Mom cooked chicken (one of "her chickens"), served with rice and vegetables. As always, they piled food into my bowl, and I did my best to politely eat it all, though I did graciously decline the butt and feet. After some fruit for dessert, another of Lou's friends came by and we all jumped back on the scooters. Quick trip, but at one point my driver asked "do you trust me" before executing a 3-point turn and heading into oncoming traffic - apparently we'd missed our turn by a block. And just like that, bam, second dinner. 

I was still stuffed, but tried it all anyways. Prawns and clams are still delicious, snails are still gross. Plus one octopus dish that I swear I had constantly in Thailand, but this was made with Mango, not Papaya, which makes it definitely a vietnamese dish and not at all Thai. I spent most of the dinner following the conversation through snatched loan-words and gestures, but it was still a fun time hanging out with friends / experiencing the more traditional night life. 

One post-script: I grabbed a shower (in the closet), and mid shower the whole family came to our room to hang out... they passed me my clothes over the wall, laughing something about traditional vietnamese experiences.

Vietnam - The chaos begins

 As is the new tradition, I'm gonna be posting very draft versions and editing / adding pictures.... eventually. 

day 0-

Flights (16h + 6h, middle seat purgatory, time makes no sense, very fast layover)

Immigration takes forever

Lou directed me to suitcases

Initial impressions:

Similar to China or Thailand, past midnight but still people chilling outside

Dark alley, super sketch

Get to Lou's place, a classic vietnamese single-room apartment. Probably 100sqft (10'x10'), consisting of a bed, a closet that is the toliet and shower, a sink, a washing machine, a loft, and a desk.  For a poor family, this is home for all 4 of them.  In my experience, this is a I've only experienced in cyperpunk literature, no windows, the bolthole apartment barely big enough to live, where the door is locked by a padlock when your out and a deadbolt when you're in. 

Took a quick shower squatting on the floor and passed out.

Day 1 - 

After some broken dreams where I had to make sure to employ superposition to perfectly align everythign to fit, I finally settled into real sleep and woke up rested at 8am. Maybe. I really don't know what time it is.  Today is the day of the deathaversarry so we got a car and (after a good interval sitting on the street gossiping with the local women running their shops, having breakfast, meeting my future mother-in-law if [Lou has anything to say about it]) set off to the countryside. 

I wrote previsouly about how China has lost it's authenticity and isn't the china it was 10 years ago... Vietnam may be that China. I think there are even more scooters here, now, then there were there, then, and none of them follow any traffic laws. They're more akin to birds flocking or fish schooling. I feel like I could survive among them, being one of the fluid whole. I could not drive here, our driver knowing the local unspoken rules of the road, letting people merge, honking vociferously, and flashing his four-ways or brights at various times. In contrary to the US where a quick flash means "go for it, I see you", in VN it seems to mean "don't think about it, I'll hit you".

After escaping the city, the countryside reminded me more of Thailand's industrial district than China. It's definitely unique from either of them, but my mind can't help but to draw comparisons and attempt to triangulate.

I thought we'd arrived at the house, but after getting out of the car we instead headed off down a narrow gravel trail, sized for a single moped, cutting between a swamp and a lemon-plantation (which is really just an organized and replanted swamp).  About an eight of a mile in we cut across a canal to an artificial island (or an artificially less swampy section surrounded by a more-liquid section?) to the house itself.  Open to the elements, lots of shade surrounding it, it makes a lot of sense for the climate it's in.  Around the house were animals (two dogs and a bunch of chickens), and fruit trees (papaya, kumquat, and banana).  I was immediately roped into picking some kumquats because I could reach further than they could, and we paid our respects to Lou's grandfather - a memorial was set up with paper goods, foods, incense, and photos of him and his ancestors.   Then we settled in to wait for the incense to burn out, giving the spirits enough time to eat.... at least, that's the idea. In practice, we waited a bit and then relocated the incense and feasted. egg rolls, chicken so fresh it was running around under that same table yesterday, noodles with shrimp, it was delicious.  I played the traditional game of not eating first so I could see how it was done, and they played the traditional game of making sure my bowl was never empty, and my cup was always full.

Mostly lou's aunts and uncles, and a few neighbors from both the city property and the countryside, one of which the english teacher. Tamarins were ok but weirdly squishy and sticky inside. A chili pepper, the first bite was acceptably hot, the second nibble made me want to cry. 

Lou's aunt chose me as her drinking partner, which mostly consisted of yelling do^ (prounounced YO!), or counting 1-2-3 and then yelling YO. It was fun. The whole experience was bizarre but charming and an amazing window into another culture. 

After the meal we wandered over to the local temple / community center / maybe someone's house? and then to the gravesite to see where grandpa was laid to rest. Finally, after a last round of drinks, it was time to head out. I turned around a few scooters for some of the aunties and then we headed back to the car.  In contrary to the trip to the countryside and my first exposure to VN proper, the trip back can be summarized as thus: "I hope we're close. I need to pee. This seems way longer. I need to pee soooo bad. I'm pretty sure I can't damage anythign by holding my pee, just push through the suffering..."  When I was about to give up I finally woke lou and asked for a status.... and luckily we were only two blocks away.  Anyways, I feel much better now.  

Day1 part2

Lou made me download an app on my phone and started giggling. She wouldn't tell me why, just "we're doing local shit".  I told her I didn't want to see only touristy things and I think she took that as a personal challenge.  Anyways, apparently local shit means "put on your flipflops, we're taking scooter taxis.  All in all, pretty casual. There was a moment where her scooter lost us in a crowd, so I just had to assume that our driver had the address in GPS or something.... which he did! To my surprise, it was a massage parlor.

We ended up getting the couples massage. Are lou and I a couple? Nope. Was it a couples massage? Also nope. After a quick bout of suffering in our seperate saunas, we passed each other in the hallway to the massage room.  The massage was actually great, I've never done a proper massage, and my back is all knotted up. Then we once again passed each other in the hallways on the way to our seperate hair-massage / shampooing / whatever.   That was less great. Overall not that objectionable, but it felt like a massage interspersed with going to the dentist. The worst part by far was when the massuese worked up a good lather in my hair and then BAM, two handfuls straight into the ears. So yeah, wouldn't recommend really. But it was definitely an interesting experience. Finally, lou and i met up in the blow-drying room to finish off with a couples blowdry. 

After that unexpected adventure, Lou once again started texting and not telling me what was happening. In for a penny in for a pound though, and I'm a few thousand in at this point so far too late to start second guessing. We got back on scooter taxis, but this time our drivers were Lou's sister Ut (prounounced Oat!) and neighbor-english-teacher, Giang (pronounced Zainnng).  They took us on a scooter tour of Saigon, and it was awesome. Definitely my favorite part so far. Giang is a much more aggressive rider, which made it that much more fun. As I said before, I think I could survive this on a bike. I definitely could not survive this with a pillion and she made it look easy, while pointing out the sights (various famous buildings, national bank, the super photogenic bridge). No pictures for this part, at least not from me, as I was holding on for dear life. There were some festivals happening downtown that really ramped up the traffic/chaos. All the things I love most in life. 

Eventually, we parked and headed past the festivals. The first one we stopped to take in was a practice session for the NYE celebrations. Martial-arts dance crews, banging techno, huge soundstage... it's gonna be a great production. Then we wandered through civic center (the iconic post-office, opera-house, and a statue of Uncle Ho), and made our way to random parkinglots where people self-sorted into various hobbies. There was the dog lot, the RC car lot, rollerbladers... just a fun night culture / street culture overall. Finally, we hit Bui Vien, one of the majore "Walking Streets" of Ho Chi Min City, which is essentially pattaya packed into 4 blocks. TBH I've never been there, maybe pattaya is only 4 blocks too...

Ridiculously loud music, as clubs competed with their rivals across the street, and the bars showing the soccer game competed with them. Dancers in skimpy outfits (mostly female, but a few dudes up there too), looking sexy and bored. Buskers trying to push you into their club or bar, almost phyiscally at some points. And a few ladies of the night stalking the crowd and grabbing the hand of any lone man, especially if they're foreign.  That was the other strange point: after seeing no foriengers for days, and few even in the airport, this street was full of them. One of the buskers I totally ignored even offered me drink prices in euros (to be precise, 1e per beer).  Loud, obnoxious, crowded, but great people-watching.

Finally having survived the street, the four of us ducked into an indian restuarant on the far end. The food was cheap but good, and getting off the street and away from the noise for a chance to sit down was a welcome relief. Afterwards, it was time to take the whole journey in reverse. Bui Vien was even louder and more crowded, but the magic of completely refusing to acknowledge buskers still worked so still not that bad. Emerging from the walking blocks, we ran into a crowd of police. Strange, but whatever. As we walked past they all mounted their motorcycles, flipped on their lights, and tore off down the street.  And a block later, we saw why.

All the scooters in Saigon had descended on the surrounding blocks, and were doing loops while blaring their horns, waving flags, and just generally celebrating their win.  Imagine a dude standing on the back of a moped, twerking and blasting his vuvuzela, as his bro slowly rolls down the street in a pack of literally a thousand mopeds.  Anywhere they stopped rolling, the police were on them to get them on their way. Apparently this is a thing every time VN wins, and it was chaos incarnate. Again, I love this shit. Not nearly as much as Lou does, and we had to almost phyiscally drag her away.  Thankfully, the maurading was limited to the city-center, which meant we didn't have to drive home through it, and we could get away.

That left only another scooter ride across the city, a bit more relaxing as traffic wasn't as bad now that it was passing midnight. Even so, schooling (flocking? Make this metaphor / callback more obvious) across a strange city with great people is definitely one my happy places, and a great finish to the day.

Baltimore - Comet

I have fond memories of comet-hunting during covid, so I was disappointed when clouds and the city-glow of Baltimore hid Tsuchinshan from me... During our family call, my parents told us how the sky-map I'd sent let them find it, and with the comet racing into the distance and a billion years until it's next pass, I figured I'd give it one full-send try. I wouldn't be upset if I failed, but I wouldn't be the reason I didn't see this comet.

Standing on my roof and scanning the sky with binoculars, I still couldn't see it. Based on the position of Arcturus I knew it would still be up for just over an hour, so I picked some empty roads 25 minutes north on my old motorcycle route and set out, listening to astronauts trying catch a comet to save the remnant of humanity. 

Approaching my targeted spot, I searched for a good spot. I wanted the top of a hill, good western exposure, somewhere I could pull fully off the road, and no streetlights. A mile shy of my target I passed a winery, with a long driveway heading into dark fields, down and west. Perfect. I parked in the drive, grabbed my camera bag, and headed down the drive away from the lighted sign.

I knew I only had 45 minutes or so, so I immediately set to work searching. Nothing up there is a comet. Dammit. I checked the star maps, I knew where in which constellation it should be, but I couldn't see anything. During our family call my dad had asked "Have you tried taking a long picture anyways?" ...And with no other options, why not? I took out my camera, carefully set my focus with the moon, and then took a wide-angle picture of where it should be, still on all my aurora settings, to see what fifteen seconds could see.




The comet was immediately obvious.  Even better, it was lined up over a tree in the distance, giving me a general point to aim for! So I re-framed and took twenty more. Why not? Maybe I can stack them, maybe one is better than the others, the auto-timer should eliminate the minor shudder from pressing the shutter release...

These turned out so well <at least when viewed on a 2" screen> I brought out my zoom lens! Same process: set focus on the moon, point it over that tree, and trigger. Nothing. So I tweaked the aim slightly and shot again. GOT IT! So, of course, immediately took 10 on the delay setting.

Ten 15-second exposures takes a while. Enough for me to start wondering "can I really claim to have seen it if only my camera saw it?" I'm no philosopher, but tonight is about going for it. So I grabbed my spotting scope out of my trunk and headed back to the camera, just finishing it's tranche.

For the next 20 minutes, I alternated between spamming the auto-timer, and laying on the pavement while slowly panning the scope over the distant tree. But I found it! Faint and blurry, but it definitely counts. Eventually, I couldn't find the comet in either the scope or my photos.  I called it a night, packed up, and drove home listening to spacewalkers ride a comet through perihelion.

Custom stack of (6) 8s... Not bad for something invisible

Baltimore - Aurora

I missed the first day of Aurora. Early this year, the Aurora reached Maryland for the first time in my life, and I totally missed it. The reports said it wouldn't make it to MD, and I believed them, and didn't even look.  The next day was even stronger, and I was desperate to see it. I've never seen aurora, but I've been fascinated with it since I was a child, drawing bad pictures in MS-Paint.  And the next day it was cloudy. I had tabs full of web-cams, weather-maps, driving directions into WV, PA, and NY... and but it was cloudy for hundreds of miles in every direction, and so I missed the second day.

Since then, I've been internet-stalking the aurora. https://www.swpc.noaa.gov/products/aurora-viewline-tonight-and-tomorrow-night-experimental lives in my browser, a permanent resident next to my email tab. And every day I'd check the predictions, waiting.

Finally this week, it started showing good chances, the terminator creeping south. Today, the visibility line extended all the way to southern PA, rivalling the previous best.  Group chats were began with photographer friends, and we started exchanging potential locations. We scoured lightmaps. We finally decided on a plan, and a backup plan.  I charged my cameras, checked my memory cards, packed all my lenses.   And then, we had our weekly family webchat. Can't miss the family chat. When it ended at 7:15 I did some final prep and started loading my van.

Outside, neighbors were standing in the street. Apparently we had missed it yet again. They'd gotten texts from friends, pictures showing strong aurora even in the city glare of Towson, but it was gone by now. I wished them luck and headed out in the van, northwest and out of the city.  It was a strange drive, anxiously scanning the sky while listening to the astronauts describe the end of the world on audiobook, but I arrived at PrettyBoy Dam around 8:20pm.

"Technically, that counts"

Jason had texted me that he had arrived, but not where he was, so I switched to parking-lights when I got close (Rant: Use your parking lights at night-sky events! Headlights will ruin everyone's night vision and photos...) parked in a near-empty lot and headed out onto the dam.  There was a creepy moment when I realized there were people on the dam, clustered in darkness, not using any lights. We thought we'd be alone... but we were not. There were probably close to 100 people out (most had parked on the other side), chatting in 3 or 4 languages.  Turns out it was a party. People were hanging out, showing off photos, comparing camera settings (400-800 iso, Fstop 2-5, as low as you can, 10-30s exposure depending), exchanging news from space-meteorologists, and just having a great time.

"A thing is happening!"

Apparently, the burst we'd missed was incredible up here. There was lingering elation in the crowd and some of the shots were stunning. But the night was young, and it was only predicted to get better.  So we started shooting. There was a dim glow almost indistinguishable from a town over the horizon, but in the camera you could see clear bands of red. Knowing where to look, I could finally make it out with my naked eye. Done! If nothing else, I could check it off my list.  Then even that started to fade, and by 9:30 the aurora was barely-visible on film and the crowd had started to thin.  That was about the point where someone said "I've got something on film, over that hill" - and we all duly turned our cameras over that hill and started snapping, picking up on film what we couldn't with our eyes.

<Excited rambling and tripping over words>

It was a more interesting layout than we'd had before, so we kept snapping, and we could see it strengthening in our shots. The buzz of the crowd picked up.  The red patch became clearly visible to the human eye, and you could watch it fade in and out, regions sliding through the sky.  And then, suddenly, it kicked off hard.  A thin band stretched up and all the way across the sky. It was the best thing I'd ever seen. Then more bands appeared and they all started their slow-dance. Greens joined in with the reds. The crowd went wild. Shutter speeds were reduced and pictures were constant.  I dashed off a quick text to my family "NOW. It's going hard" and still it intensified.  Normally, the aurora looks far better in pictures than real life. Now was not the case, as pictures were too slow to capture the ripples of the individual fingers - but the pictures were still fantastic.

"Oh it's still so good!"

It was magical and glorious, and the months and hours of anticipation made the reward all the sweeter. Everyone was talking, sharing their ecstasy. The only thing it's really comparable to IME was the eclipse, strangers all coming together and sharing a moment of beauty and triumph, and we were all just as excited.  The core faded slightly, and the aurora was all around us. North-west had been best, but now north, northeast, and west had strong flares of red. There was hazier red to the southwest, and even southeast overhead there was a gently lambent trident in the sky, like a footprint of some celestial duck.

Quack

By 10:30 it had faded back to the dull-glow we started with. It started getting cold, we started experimenting with even more different shots and camera settings. I checked my texts, where my brother in PA had a great view off his deck, and my mom had even gotten some shots from my old elementary school.  The Chinese group next to us was still super excited, and must have taken a hundred pictures of a stuffed Winnie-The-Pooh in front of the aurora, but the second wave of exodus was reducing our numbers.  By 11 or 11:15 it was dark-dark, and we resorted to checking the space-weather apps (mine was rather useless) but held onto hope. By 11:30 we'd broken light-discipline and were checking out the fog on the water with high-powered flashlights. By 11:50 I was cold, and decided to call it a night.

So I can finally cross it off my list, but it's too late. Much like the eclipse, I'm hooked.


A few random tips, mostly for myself.

• Bring extra cards and batteries. Wasn't a problem, but always wise.
• Bring extra tripods. One dude almost missed the peak when his broke, but we managed to help him get it fixed right before the strengthening
• Red flash-lights are a blessing. Bring two.
• Make sure to defog your lens. Especially if you're shooting on the shore of a lake.
• Dress warm, warmer than you think. I grabbed my winter coat for the first time this year on a whim and was still chilly by the end of the night. 
• Bring a chair
• Shoot a lot, even if it's meh. The practice will pay off

Accidental selfie

Switzerland - Statistics

First, check out this sweet timelapse!

Second, fun with numbers:

151,013 steps*
8,993 miles travelled **
3,150 dollar spent***
759 photos****
24 trains
11 busses
7 cable cars
7 funiculars
3 boats
2 flights
1 uber

*Steps/Distance walked by day

7879	3.6
14320	6.52
14069	6.44
14086	6.39
7584	3.44
16187	7.37
11247	5.11
19012	8.71
13747	6.24
14064	6.32
18818	8.57

**8292 miles by air, 620 by train, 69 by foot, 7 by boat, 4 by bus, and 1 by van

***Costs
$1100 airfare
$1200 hotels/airBNB
$400 food
$450 in-country travel ($350 in tickets, and $100 for the half-fair card. Can't recommend it enough)
About $170/day/person excluding airfare.
(This might be overly honest, but I'm the type of guy who will tell my coworkers my salary, so....)

****Photo/video count
665 cell, 93 DSLR, 1 Gopro - Only counting my personal shots. Probably triple that collectively.

And with that, were done! Here's the last photo on my memory card:

Switzerland 10 - Lucerne II

Today we wanted an easy day, so we chose a boat ride and an easy hike. Short, flat, easy. We woke around 7, as always, to a cloudy day and a beautiful sunrise. I headed down to the river to grab a few pics of the bridges and the lake which are now devoid of tourists, and headed back to the room so we could finalize our plans. Adam and Dani went out for a run, we entertained the baby, and when they got back we headed out to the boat. We caught a ferry across the lake, and sat out on the back deck so we could watch Lucerne recede behind us. Much like mountains, adding a lake turns a good landscape view into a great landscape.

When we arrived at Bürgenstock the cable-car was waiting for us! We walked off the boat, across the landing, and right into the cable-car, using the combination ticket we booked (the Swiss travel app is amazing).  The cable car left moments later, and we were whisked up the mountain while we watched our boat set off back across the lake on the return-run. 

At the top* of the mountain we found ourselves in a snazzy resort. A $700chf a night, $100 a plate, golf courses and private spa type of place. So we set out to hike their snazzy trail! The trail was called Felsenweg, which means cliff-way.  My dad didn't translate that for my mother until we were well out it.  It was indeed cliffy, with great views out over the lake back to Lucerne, looking past the tips of trees that were growing just a few meters (horizontally) from us, but already so far down the mountain they struggled to reach our elevation.  Contrary to what we were promised by the tour books, it was not a flat trail. Maybe flat by swiss standards, but we headed steadily uphill for over an hour. Luckily, the trail made up for it, skirting along cliffs, passing through several tunnels blasted through the mountain, and leading to an ancient elevator near it's peak. The elevator was built as a response to the Eiffel tower, and while it was cool, we felt no need to pay the fees to reach the actual summit a few hundred meters above us. 

With the last tunnel, we passed through to the other side of the mountain. Now, finally, it was all down-hill - thankfully at a slow enough grade it didn't burn like some of our previous trails. We wound through the forests into farm country, passed several Moos and pricey hotels, and when we got to the bottom I took over Sage Transport.  I thought I had timed it for flat terrain... but I had not. Immediately I had to stop to shed my jacket, and then I cinched her down for the long burn. 30+ pounds of squirmy baby is definitely an intense workout, and I'm not sure how my Brother managed an entire mountain (except that he's had 19 months of training, working up from 7 pounds). But a slow incline and a steep shortcut down the mountain later, we casually strolled back into the resort, just as the rain began to sprinkle. I passed off the baby at the bottom of the final staircase, and we perused the giftshop waiting for our funicular back down. 

On the funicular, we saw an animal! Adam claimed it was a Martin, despite not knowing exactly what a martin was. I called it a stoat. Other opinions were fox, groundhog, or a meow.  The boat met us at the base of the funicular (gotta love Swiss scheduling), and our ride back across the lake in the rain was indoors, and uneventful. Some incredible estates around though... boathouses, private 18th century chapels, just boggling.

Who's that P̶o̶k̶e̶m̶o̶n̶  Wildlife!

It continued to drizzle on our way back, where we all split off to various bakeries, cafeterias, or grocery stores for lunch, and then regrouped at the apartment for naptime. After naptime, the rain had stopped, and my mom really wanted to show me the lion monument, so the three of us set off across the city for the final time. A memorial to the mercenaries who died when the French stormed the palace, Mark Twain called it "the most mournful piece of stone in the world" and I agree thoroughly. Great work, this giant stone lion sits above an old quarry, a kingly 30 feet long and a mournful 20 feet tall.  This was one of the other peak tourist attractions (along with our Felsenweg) of the late 1800's, so it incubated tourist-traps around it, which have persevered to the present. 

One of these tourist traps is the Bourbaki Panorama, painted in 1876 and showing 80,000 French troops surrendering to the neutral Swiss after Napoleon lost to the Germans. Surrounded, outnumbered, and fearing to surrender to the Germans, the French escaped to the Swiss border to claim refugee status. It's a cool painting, with lots of foreground props seamlessly blended into the background 360 painting, and would have been mind-boggling in the 19th century. Was it worth $12? My mom didn't think so, but she'd already seen it, so she bailed. However, my dad loves it to a slightly-irrational degree, and it was worth $12 to share his wonder.

Recrossing the city for the penultimate time, we rallied at the apartment, where Sage had a new toy! She got a little wooden cow, with an adorable little bell on it, that she SLAMS. AGAINST. THE. FLOOR.  It's incredibly cute to watch her smile and give it kisses, but we're gonna have to make sure she doesn't "walk" her cow this evening.

Dinner was at an Italian place around the corner. Pasta, clams, and another new white-wine (Cortese, and it was great! Dry whites are my favorite, and a regional specialty here). It was good, but extremely filling, especially after a late lunch. Over dinner we discussed our day (it turns out it was a Pine Martin!), and our favorite parts of the trip. The Via Ferrata received high marks, though my dad would never do it again, and Mürren scored very well overall. Of course, the best part was doing it all with family, so we decided we're doing it again! Except next time will be Scotland, and our other brother will be joining us with his family. Luckily, that's next year, so I have to recover.....

Switzerland 9 - Luzern

Another day, another early morning. Like most our vacations, I'm going to need another vacation to recover.  We found a high-speed train from Bern to Luzern, and arrived around 10 am.  We made our way to our air-BNB as slowly as we making sure we'd arrive after bag-drop o'clock, and (after a half-dozen calls on the intercom and two passersby trying to give us advice) we finally dropped off our bags and set off across our city. 

<Editors note: The spelling is Lucerne in French and Luzern in German, so I'm going to mix and match capriciously) 

As a carpenter: Damn. 

Our Air-bnb is right on the river near the edge of the lake, meaning we're dead-center of old-town. Lucerne is famous for it's two covered bridges, all classical woodworking (so much so that one of them almost burned down in the 90s) so of course we had to stroll across them, weaving our way down the river. The first is Kapellbrücke (Chappel-Bridge), a beautiful bridge cutting diagonally across the river, decorated with flowers and paintings from the history of the town (including one showing a giant, based on some fossilized mammoth bones they found), and featuring an old prison in the center. It is absurdly picturesque and essentially a historical insta-trap. And boy has instagram embraced it -  we witnessed probably a dozen tiktoks and nigh 100 photoshoots. Not that I didn't take tons of pictures, but I didn't ask anyone to strike a dozen poses while gazing ponderously into the distance and blocking the entire bridge.... 

We cut into <Jesuitenkirche> once across the river, and it was a beautiful Jesuit basilica that absolutely was the caliber of the romans, however they were mid-service so we politely and respectfully loitered in the back instead of walking through the whole thing.  The second bridge of the day is Rathausteg , which is much like the first, only shorter (as it's not diagonal, thanks Pythagoras!) and it featured scenes of Death, dancing and posing with all classes of society. Very memento mori. Just upriver, practically adjacent to  the bridge, is the city dam. This limits the outflow from Lake XXXXX <Lucerne. Turns out the town is named after the lake, and I'm not at all observant>, keeping it at a navigable river throughout the seasons, and is primarily controlled with hundreds of wooden planks that are added and removed throughout the seasons. The fine-tuning of the waterlevel is done via the hydro turbines, which generate power for the town while giving the entire bridge a subtle hum.

We then cut inland to see the old market districts. Murals of Fasnacht for the holiday shops, cupids' bearing diamond rings in the jewelry district... you get the gist. We stopped for lunch at a bakery, and then cut over to the shore of the lake itself. Great views of the lake and across into hazy mountains, and a lot of good people-watching and car-watching <more Porsche's than American cars (which were only muscle cars) >. At this point we were all pretty tired, Sage most of all, so we headed back to our apartment where we finally checked in and caught a nap. I even grabbed a few minutes, fading out to the white noise of the happy-hour crowd (they start early) a few floors beneath us. 

Once we were all suitably recovered, it was time to do the city walls! A long walk uphill, followed by flights and flights of stairs, but our naps had revived us, so it wasn't that bad. The city walls were excellent, consisting of 9 towers and 8 spans  The first two towers were closed, but we climbed the third for great views of the lake, and were rewarded with a penny smasher! Total surprise but I've had backup coins ready all week... we crossed across the wall to the fourth tower, which I climbed  to watch the weights, pendulum, and escapement for the giant clock within. The views were terrible, but the engineer in me was satiated. Tower 5 required us to descend the ground, where we walked to tower 7. A long climb from the ground to the tip rewarded us with an open courtyard with great views of the wall itself and the river below us. My parents stayed with Sage at the bottom... I threw a coin at them, which Sage immediately pointed towards, but my parents had eyes only for her and were totally oblivious.   The final two towers were closed, so we headed back to the river to recross the beautiful bridges in a mission to find dinner.

This was almost such a cute picture,
but Sage tried a sudden dive.
As she does.

Cutting through a dozen more amateur photoshoots, we made our way to The Raufhaus for dinner.  The food was slow (but good), the beer was great, and we ended up at a shared table where we talked to two shifts of tourists from Atlanta. On our way back, we had to stop for gelato (of course), and witnessed even more photoshoots while in line. Overall, a gorgeous historic district, mercifully compact on our worn-out legs (only 14000 steps today), and an ideally located apartment. Even if the floors are askew by 1-2 degrees (we measured) the view is incredible, and I can listen to live violin music as I pick out today's pictures.

The view from our room!

Switzerland 8 - Montreux

Today we woke up far too early, and immediately jumped on a train headed south... sound familiar? However today was south-west instead of south-east, to Montreux. Montreux is in the french-speaking portion of Switzerland, instead of the German, and it's a nice mix of the two cultures. Leaving the train station we stopped in a patisserie and I got pain au chocolat for breakfast - I can actually translate most the signs... it's a nice change from the German where I can read all the filler words and tragic few of the key words.  We ate on the shore of Lac Leman with a couple dozen wrens who were desperate for crumbs and cute enough to get them.

After breakfast we headed over to the dock where my dad asked if the tickets we bought online were acceptable for the ferry, only to be sarcastically informed by the steward that they required everyone to pay twice to afford le upkeep on le bateau. Sarcasm. Very not German.

La Suisse was a gorgeous paddlewheel steamship pushing a century in age, updated from coal to oil but otherwise true to form. The captain coasted in before slamming it hard astern, throwing water everywhere while deckhands roped the dock with well-practiced timing, stopping the boat perfectly aligned with the dock.  We sat in the bow for our 10 minute ride down the lake, across from a group of pensioners sipping cider and having a wonderful morning - it appeared they were taking the 2-hour round trip and it looked fantastic. However, just as we were settling in we realized we were pulling up to Château du Chillon, our stop! On the way out we had to cut through the boat and realized they had a massive well in the center of the ship to observe the steam engines and enormous crankshaft at work... I wish we had another few stops just to watch that! Oh well, here's a youtube link from a sister-ship:

The castle was started in the 10th century, built on an island just off the shore of the lake. We headed across the drawbridge, paid our entry fees, and stepped into a mishmash of history. The castle traded owners and roles over the centuries, and was renovated even more often. Starting as a perimeter wall with a keep and a guardhouse, the fortifications evolved until the entire island became entirely castle. Interestingly, the ancient  trade-route the castle was built to tax is now a highway and a rail-line. In the cellars / crypt / prison, the original rock of the island pokes through, forming walls and/or floors - which I always find enchanting - and you have to step over outcroppings as you explore the various rooms  These were gloomy, with small windows high in the ceilings, and their claim to fame is that Lord Byron visited some man who was chained to a pillar there for 5 years straight, and took a moment to graffiti his name into a neighboring pillar, where it is still visible. 

Much of the rest of the castle had been renovated, and features such innovations as garderobes emptying directly into the lake (which could be 60 feet beneath you), stoves that could be fed by servants in another room, and I particularly enjoyed the painted brickwork. Actually cutting and dressing several types of stones was far too expensive, so the interior walls would instead be plastered smooth, and then fake bricks in varying shades and patterns painted to mimic fancy stonework. Other signs of the centuries of adaptation included the conversion of archery embrasures into gun ports, as the technology of war improved. Conversely, the lake-side entertaining halls featured huge glass windows. If this seems poorly defensible, you're right! It was a flex on the power of some dude's navy. To top it all off we climbed the keep which offered great views in every direction, but we chose not to carry Sage up all those stairs so we quickly returned to the crew at the bottom to continue our day.

 Next on the list was a hike. Of course. Why not. This wound 2 miles around the lake, and while the views started nice, I quickly stopped noticing, since I was distracted as yesterday's soreness returned to remind me of my poor choices. Sage fell asleep for her nap, so we kept going until food became a priority. Then we hiked more, backtracked, and eventually found ourselves at an Italian restaurant. The service was good, but slow (very French), the wine was excellent (Petite Arvine - very Swiss-French), and the food, once it arrived, was fantastic. I somehow became tasked with taking care of Sage, and after she finished off her pizza bambino she handed me her fork. After a moment of hesitation, I realized she wanted my ravioli... So we shared those as well.

Afterwards, we didn't really have a timetable. We were in no rush to get back to Bern, and the weather was fantastic. So we sat in the park for an hour, crawling on the grass, trying to put flower petals back onto flowers, and just enjoying the lake views and breeze. It was delightful.

The train-ride back was routine at this point, and also when my jet-lag hit, so I'll skip ahead.  Back in Bern, the one thing on our (my mother's) to-do list was to watch the giant clock.  We rushed a few blocks across town to watch it strike (stopping for Gelato, of course), and it was rather disappointing. While the astronomical aspects of the clock (day, date, sunrise, sunset, astrological sign) were masterwork, the animation - a jester ringing some bells, a king slowly waving a baton, a carousel of bears rotating beneath him, and a rooster halfheartedly squawking - did not live up to the hype. Afterwards, the gathered crowd all collectively turned to each and shrugged, the international sign-language for "is that it?"

And that's it. Only 14,000 steps today, but that was enough. Tomorrow.... Lucerne! Where there's a lake I think? Every day is still a surprise, and most of the surprises are great.

Switzerland 7 - Mt Toblerone

Today we rose with the sun, probably. We we're definitely up and out the door before it had any chance of penetrating the courtyard of our hotel. A short walk later we were on a train to Visp, where we sat next to a rescue-skier. He was an interesting conversationalist, he spends the winters EMT'ing 1-10 injured skiers a day, and his summers traveling. He'd even shipped his Vanagon to Baltimore at one point, to journey across the US before making his way down to Argentina. He wished us well on our way to Mt Toblerone and asked us if we'd visit the tiktok lake.

At Visp we went out separate ways, and transferred to a local train that immediately headed up into the mountains, paralleling the course of the river <Matter Vispa>. The river was violent and energetic, and scars in the riverbed hinted it was capable of far more violence. Sort of sounds like a bad idea to put a train next to violent mountain drainage, and it is! Just a few weeks ago this line was closed due to a wash-out. But it's repaired now and scenic AF. I took a lot of video clips just looking out the windows, hopefully I'll edit them some day.

Finally, we arrived in Zermatt! Another town primarily dedicated to skiing, this town exists purely because the Matterhorn is stunningly gorgeous. Sharp and triangular, it is the platonic ideal of a mountain. We caught a few glimpses of the mountain as we crossed town, making our way to the funicular up to Sunnegga - the ride was totally underground, and blisteringly fast for the angle of attack.

We emerged on top of Sunnegga (one of the neighboring peaks a fair bit lower) and were immediately met with the tectonic masterpiece that is the Matterhorn. We found our hiking trail for the day, and set off down the mountain.... and in a few minutes found ourselves at TikTok lake! I don't tiktok, it's more of a pond than a lake, however none of us know the actual name <Leisee> so that sobriquet stuck. It features a playground, a cable ferry that Adam and Sage took across the lake, and most importantly reflections of the mountain. I hiked around it to get the iconic shot (which was slightly ruined by ripples, but like everything on tiktok I'll fake it), rejoined the rest of the family, and we headed further down the mountain.

Note the slates that prevent mice!

We chose Sunnegga because the trail has the best views and angles of the Matterhorn, and it did. We walked across (mostly down) fields that would be ski-slopes admiring the mountain, the traditional slate-roofed huts, and - of course - some cows. Or as we call them now, Moo's. The peak quickly beclouded, but even in clouds it looked majestic. We also passed a handful of restaurants, which felt rather bizarre. We're 45 minutes into a wilderness hike and there's a full-blown restaurant with power, running water, a beer list... but we soldiered on until Sage fell asleep in her carrier. This was a great excuse to sit and chill, watching the cloud ceiling slowly envelop more of the peak and enjoying the fabulous weather. Whatever layers we'd worn were stripped off and we had a nice 20 minute nap-break.

Napping achieved, we continued down, looping into the forest beneath Sunnegga. This trail was only mildly downhill which made for fantastic hiking, and wove around massive boulders, beneath (and above) towering pine trees, and led to cliffs offering a great overview of Zermatt. Almost a hiking equivalent of Via Ferrata, this was incredible drops protected with only a railing, and the runner-up  highlight of the trail (second to Mt Toblerone, of course). We wove our way through the woods, tasting raw juniper berries (bad, but a pleasant gin after-taste), identifying scat (primary fox and goat), and just generally enjoying nature. After a few miles of this casual descent the rest of the family was hungry, and chose a steep down-hill side-trail that descended directly to town.

The steep downhill was brutal, and the only positive I can give it was some cute black squirrels (who would not sit still for photos). While not objectively as harsh as our first hike in Mürren, subjectively.... I need another rest-day, maybe a rest-week.  Near the bottom we took a break at a playground where I built mulch piles and blew bubbles (for Sage, obviously), and soon after moving on we were abruptly dumped out into Zermatt. Down half a dozen flights of stairs, of course.

"I could build this..."

Back in town, we set about finding a late lunch. I'd only eaten a soft pretzel, was slightly dehydrated, my calves hated me, but I've long ago learned the ideal method for restaurant choice in these situations: Total apathy. So I silently followed my family across the city as they debated the merits of various options, and then back across once they finally chose the local sports-center.  Honestly, it was a great choice. I had a brisket panini, then stole from my brother's heaping mountain of nachos, and a pint of the local lager put me in a far better mood. 

We went out the back door to the local playground and enjoyed the chaos. Swings, trampolines, a cool rocking table that rolled a ball through a maze.... I enjoyed it all, not nearly as much as Sage though, who was enamored of the toys and all the slightly-older children running amok. We were all enamored of Sage being enamored with everything, screaming with joy, shouting over balls, trying each trampoline back to back to back to back. So cute. She's no longer always an angel, but she can be.

The trainride back was the reverse of our morning's trip, and I split my attention between the stream and Sage, who now (finally) adores me. The only other point to mention is the worlds 7th longest train-tunnel. 30km straight through a mountain. Boring (hah!), but very impressive. <maybe talk about easy-ride and how I now don't even know where I'm going even when I got on the train)

And as our train arrived in Bern, we crashed hard. We did make a stop for gellato, but everyone was looking forward to showers and bed. Shower complete, I'm looking forward to lying down and reading a book, and hopefully not moving very much. Tomorrow, some castle!